


Leave the Horror Here

by Miku



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Blood and Gore, Bottom Eren Yeager, Dom/sub Undertones, M/M, Murder, Pining, Rape/Non-con Elements, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Underage Prostitution, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-05-26 12:59:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15001400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miku/pseuds/Miku
Summary: Assassin Levi comes across a rather intriguing underaged prostitute going by Eren when on his most recent assignment.





	1. Prologue.

**Author's Note:**

> Re-upload! I've rewritten it a little here and there.
> 
> PLEASE READ:
> 
> Though at first sight this may seem like an 'action'-heavy fic, please note the first half of this work heavily weighs on the psychological journey Levi goes through as he develops feelings for a 12 year old Eren! (There will be a timeskip later on in which Eren soon enough reaches 15 years of age)  
> Naturally, I do not condone Levi's sentiments when it comes to young Eren in this fic and do not mean to offend anyone.  
> I know this is wrong and I very much enjoy writing from the psychological perspective of a 'villain' so to say.
> 
> If you've any issues with this, please do not read any further!!!

******WARNING******

_please read the tags and note above before proceeding!_  
_If you believe any of that may bother you in the slightest, save yourself and me the effort and just skip this work. Thank you._  
Note:  **Eren will be 12 years old** for the first half of this fic!

* * *

 

He'd been told the assignment would’ve been an easy one.  
Enter the building, assassinate, and exit.  
Ten minutes top. However, what Levi ended up with was a life-changing experience. Though he would’ve liked to have blamed his boss for having sent him into this mess, Levi had been forced to admit that even that all-seeing deity of a man could not quite have predicted this chaotic and gory scenery.

Thus, hiding the surprise from his features, Levi stood and watched as heinous happenings unfolded before him.

 

 

**Prologue.**

 

T h e   s c e n t   o f   a   p r e m a t u r e   s u m m e r   lingers in the night around him.  

Cobblestones are slick and glossy after a rainfall that took the city by surprise not an hour before. On top of windowsills belonging to worn houses, various buckets and bowls filled with rainwater are placed; their shapes and sizes differentiating and causing these alleyways to appear almost charming. That is unless one is aware of what takes place between many of these crumbling walls. Crooked backdoors are left ajar and allow warm light as well as sweet perfumes to travel outside; beckoning intoxicated, immoral men into their small, distasteful rooms.  

Levi’s destination is but a corner away and when he rounds it he can see two porcelain bowls on the second floor’s windowsill. Their patterns are that of pink roses and green ivy, rims touched by cheap gold that's beginning to flake off its surface. He is able to tell only because a nearby lantern screwed into the building's wall is illuminating the pots in an ugly, orange glow. After a moment of perking his ears, Levi catches the telling noise of wooden furniture creaking rhythmically and moans being muffled into pillows from the opened window above.  

Levi knocks on the door left ajar and quickly is welcomed by an attractive woman. He knows her name  _(Viviane)_  as well as her age  _(forty-two)_. Levi is also aware she’s been married twice, that she’s had one child in the past which died at the age of five, that the orange-red tint to her hair is not her natural color and that almost all of her teeth are ceramic ones. This last fact didn't make sense to Levi a few weeks prior to taking this final step of his assignment. However, as before he'd had no clue as to how she’s ever been able to afford those dentals when considering she runs a sleazy whorehouse amidst dozens of fancier ones in the same area, by now the man's learned that she offers a rare and highly desired _'_ _kin_ _d_ _'_ of prostitutes. And that's putting it nicely.  

Those same -blinding- teeth are bared to him when she curls her lips into a wide smile. Levi watches as Viviane roams her eyes over his frame, the hungry gaze all to do with the expensiveness of his garments and nothing with his youth, muscles, looks or  _(for once)_  the lack of height in his body.  

              “Young man, do come in.” She coos at him, stepping back to open the door wider and Levi follows her inside a hallway that stenches of incense and is painted in such dark earth tones it causes the ceiling to appear lower than it actually is. 

              “How can I help you, sir?” Viviane asks him when they exit the narrow entryway and step out into a room which would’ve served as a living area in a family’s home, though now exists as a waiting-room-meets-bar. Jazz music in the background only adds to its tasteless atmosphere. The lights are dimmed and tinted crimson, the incense -also here- stifling the space to an almost claustrophobic degree as it takes Levi's breath away for a split second. It's tacky at best and the man can imagine being buried alive in a red-velvet-padded coffin would be a similar experience to this one. 

              “I want your youngest boy. Preferably underaged.” Levi says dryly, face nor body betraying lies or intentions.  

Viviane pauses, freezing almost comically with her right hand raised as it is holding a bottle of Whiskey she’d been ready to pour into the tumbler clasped by the long, slender fingers of her left one. Most of her golden rings seem as fake as the legalization papers for her whorehouse, framed against the wall behind the bar, and the jewelry has worn to the point of having left green marks on her skin.  

              “Those are what you sell, aren’t they?” The man adds, not an inch of muscle in his body moving as he stands in the middle of the room, crowded by stained sofas and small, round tables with circle-shaped marks from glasses and mugs on their surfaces. She stares at him for a moment, lowering the bottle onto the glossy surface of the bar she's behind and Levi can see her consider him. His expensive clothes -promising before- are now reason for her to raise hackles and suspect him of being an undercover officer, on duty, to bust her source of income.   
After all, she’s selling children to be pawed at by pigs, and thus rather deserving of being punished for it. 

Despite prostitution being legalized in the outside skirts of town, there's laws when it comes to children under the age of sixteen laying with clients older than twenty-one. Regardless of the government's take on this, morality alone should have her reconsider the path she's taken in life. 

However, Levi's not here for that. He's not an officer either. 

The muffled moans and creaking upstairs adds an ironic taste to the silence between them. 

              “Listen, good sir-” She starts, though Levi options to interrupt her.  

              “If I were a cop, Mrs. Peters-” Her lips thin at hearing her surname spoken by the stranger in front of her. 

              “I would not come on my own. It'd be quite easier to have a team enter your business and have a look for themselves rather than have a single officer try to trick you into meeting up with a worker and potentially ruin his reputation with doing so.” He assures her. 

              “There’s plenty of houses around nearby. I’m quite certain you have a penny to spare and can take your business elsewhere easily.” Viviane presses, her back rigid and her fingers keep swiping red strands of hair behind her left ear, the lobe of which is weighed down by jewelry large enough to serve as a potential weapon.  

              “I do have plenty of money to spare and I want to spend it on a child, which I know you can offer me, can you not?” Levi forces himself to curl one corner of his mouth into a pathetic little smirk, if only to persuade her, to convince her his intentions are as cruel as her excuses for selling prepubescent whores to grown men.  

Her shoulders sag after another moment and though her huff sounds agitated, she still turns around to regard the little rows of lights against the wall which indicate which rooms are available to receive customers and which are still occupied.  

              “Well, he’s still with a client at the moment-” She begins but Levi takes a few steps forward and retrieves a stack of bills from inside his jacket before placing it onto her counter.  

              “You won’t mind if I wait upstairs for him to finish, do you? I’d like to get right in, Mrs. Peters.”  

Though her eyes narrow, her greed convinces her to clasp the wad of cash into her hand, quickly depositing it somewhere behind the bar, most likely inside of a safe.  

              “Up the stairs, turn left, second door on the right. One hour.” Viviane speaks, raising a long-nailed index-finger to emphasize either the hour given to him or the suspicion which she is hiding poorly from her eyes. Her tone as well is unfriendly and wary. Though it is no matter to Levi.  

He doesn’t nod his thanks nor spares her another glance before turning on his heels and ascending the staircase towards his assignment of the night. For a single moment he wishes he’d urged her for the bottle of Whiskey, if only to use the cheap, burning liquid to wash down the sickness in his stomach at turning the corner and hearing high-pitched wails from children crack through the low grunts from men.  

              ‘ _Ten minutes top._ ’ Levi assures himself.               ‘ _Ten minutes and I’m out of here..._ ’

* * *

 

_Shoutout to[Vittarius](http://vittarius.tumblr.com) for providing me with my own fic which I'd deleted without backing up!_

 

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	2. Part 1

******chapter WARNINGS****  
** _**!!!underage prostitution/ rape, blood and gore, murder!!!** _

 

**PART 1.**

 

T h e   d o o r   i s   c l o s e d ,   though it does little to mute the sounds coming from within the room behind it. He doesn’t know his target’s voice and hence toes open the door carefully to peek around it and take in the visual image to either confirm or disprove the person’s identity to match that of the one Levi is to assassinate.  

His sight is met with the image of a broad, pale back hunched over the (apparently youngest in Viviane’s possession) prostitute of which Levi can only see slim, tanned legs dangling in the air. The tiny toes of the worker’s feet are curled tightly in the tell-tale sign of pain. Levi glances at the back of the man's head, trying to recognize the shaved scalp until he catches a glimpse of himself over the person's shoulder in the mirror above the bed’s headboard.  

In the reflection he can confirm that the man rocking into the child is indeed his target. A crooked nose, cleft lip and light-colored eyes all shape the face of the man who Levi is to help with diving nose-first into his grave.  

Levi slips inside of the room, deaf to the sounds of fucking, though he can’t quite prevent the stench of sweat from swirling into his nostrils.  

As Levi leans against the closed door behind him, he retrieves his pistol with silencer, making sure that the cold metals are assembled properly. He’s not at all looking forward to killing a man in front of another person. Not because of supposed witnesses (in which case Viviane would have a lot more on him than a panicking child) but because it will leave an impression on them. Especially this kid who is already sobbing to begin with, the voice too terribly high-pitched to convince Levi he’s anywhere near adolescence, though raspy enough to betray his gender. However, boss’ orders have been to kill the man in the act of the horrible deeds he apparently indulges on... every single weekend.  

 _‘Kill_ _him_ _, in the room, in the act,_ _and leave_ _.’_  were his words. Simple. A clean and easy kill allowing the cops to snap crime-scene shots of a naked man dead in the room of a whorehouse selling only children and teens. The news will get out and the target’s circles will either be shocked or quite pleased to see the awful man having come to such a shameful end.  

Levi asks himself if Viviane would go as far as to drag his body outside somewhere; preventing the law from finding out about her illegal business. Levi doubts she’ll manage to hide a body before one of the prostitutes will have thrown a fit in a panic and have spread the news. Not to mention; every man in this part of town is corrupted, can all be silenced with money and that is if they even care about these kinds of crimes in the first place.  

Not to mention... it’s not Levi’s job to wonder about these things. He’s here on boss’ orders. Here to shoot the man in the back of his head, simple as that.  

It is when Levi looks up from his weapon, after making sure there's ammo inside of it, that he meets his target’s surprised gaze in the mirror’s reflection and everything that follows is a chaotic chain of action-reaction.  

He raises his hand, aiming at the man’s head as the latter begins to turn to look over his shoulder at Levi. However, before the man can get off the bed or Levi can pull the trigger, a reflection glistens in the mirror. Levi watches, almost in awe, at the knife being stabbed into the side of  _his_  target’s neck. The blade penetrates deeply, quickly. The small fingers wrapped around its wooden hilt are white-knuckled, hand shaking visibly and blood starts to pour in generous amounts when the boy retrieves the blade from flesh. For a single moment the room remains absurdly quiet, every occupant trying to figure out what has just happened and how it will continue from this point on.  

When Levi’s target shakes himself out of shock -survival instinct neglecting the fact that he’s bleeding out from the side of his neck- and goes to attack the child underneath him, the boy grabs the knife with both hands and with a frightened, high-pitched sound in the back of his throat plunges it forward.  

In the following minute the child continues to stab the man on top of him anywhere he can reach; chest, throat, shoulders and even manages to slice one of his cheeks. His voice is weak, like an animal losing a fight, but his strength is near supernatural as he kills his client. Levi watches his target bleed out over the boy, his large hands wrapped around the kid’s throat rather than raised in order to try and protect himself, which causes Levi to assume he knows he’s about to die and desires to take his murderer with him.  

Yet, it is over. The man slumps down and the boy heaves, sobs and coughs as he uses the last of his strength to push the heavy body off of him with hands and feet, until it tumbles onto the carpeted floor next to the bed with a thump. Levi inhales slowly, maintaining his composure as the metallic scent of blood clings to every surface in the room. The prostitute is bathed in crimson, hair soaked in it as it clings to his forehead and he pants heavily while he maneuvers himself to sit on the edge of the bed. Levi has never felt this out of place anywhere ever before and the situation would’ve been humorous to him had it not been for the child seated with his head in his hands, toes barely reaching the floor, skinny body shuddering and shaking.  

He should leave. Of course. The guy’s dead, he will probably be able to lie about the kill having been his and still get payed for it. But even so, if not, Levi is not short on money, so it’d not matter in the end.  

Yet, he is frozen. Cannot look anywhere but at the young boy and he feels breathless, as if he’s the one traumatized, and not this child who has killed a man three times his size. This child who is covered in another person’s blood. This child who has been getting fucked by men for god knows how long. And Levi aches for his lost innocence, for it hits home, so heartbreakingly much.  

Something in that very moment happens, something in his brain dislodges, shifts and clicks back into a different order. He can feel it but does not yet know what it means.  

              “I-I’ll kill you too, you know.”  

Levi blinks, focuses his stare until his blurry vision sharpens and reveals to him bright, blue-green eyes which are opened wide with pupils blown so severely the child almost appears to have gone mad. His voice is terribly weak, almost gone if it weren’t for the thickness of tears allowing it some density to roll up his throat.  

Without putting thought into it, Levi lowers the gun he’s still aiming where the man had once been seated.  

The child is shaking still, but the grip on the blade in his right hand is tight and sure, threatening Levi even without raising it towards him. Rationally, he is aware this child would never be able to murder him, is probably not eager to do so either, but it is that admirable will to live, to fight for survival and cling to existence that almost subdues the man on the spot.  

He removes the silencer from his gun before putting them both away underneath his black jacket.  

              “You stole my kill.” Levi dryly remarks, as he leans back against the door, not so much to support his weight as it is to keep outside any unwanted visitors. 

The boy glances at the corpse on the floor before flicking his gaze back at Levi. He almost seems apologetic in the way his shoulders slump and his lips part around a long exhale. 

              “You were here to kill him?”  

              “Yes.”  

The prostitute looks down at the knife he has now rested in his lap. He sniffles and then his bottom lip begins to tremble.  

              “I t-thought you-” He inhales shakily, a poor attempt to keep a hold of himself. “-you were here b-because-”  

              “I’m not.” Levi assures, understanding what the child had initially feared.  

When tears start rolling down his cheeks once more, smudging the dried blood on his skin to a lighter tone, Levi reaches inside his jacket, retrieving an impeccably clean, white handkerchief from an inner breast-pocket. The boy, predictably, tenses when he pushes his weight off the door and takes one step towards him.  

              “What’s your name?” Levi asks the child, trying to soothe the atmosphere with some small-talk. Though doubtful he is capable of creating a foundation of trust with this boy by saying a few friendly words, he only needs to calm down the energy in the room for now.  

The boy’s eyes are impossibly large for the delicateness of his features. He’s beautiful by nature; thick lashes, full lips and a small nose curved up at the tip. There’s a fragility to him that matches in alluring fashion with the wildness in his eyes and the blood sprayed onto his skin.  

              “Eren.” He replies at last and though he doesn’t move when Levi walks closer, he still glances at the door and grips the blade in his lap more firmly. Levi doesn’t blame him.  

              “Eren. I’m Levi.” He walks around the body sprawled onto the floor towards Eren, slowly. “Can you toss the knife aside for me, Eren?’  

              “For you?” He murmurs, his eyes fall into a hazed stare which tells Levi the boy is not quite aware of having spoken at all. For a second, he fears the child will at last tumble into brutal reality from the shock obviously having kept him upright for the past few minutes. However, the young boy shakes his head, blinks and after a moment’s hesitation tosses the blade onto the floor, plenty of feet away from the both of them.  

Levi comes to a halt in front of him and hands him the piece of cloth. Eren stares up at him for a long while, pupils shifting as if he is trying to read the man’s face. Whatever he sees in Levi’s blank -almost bored appearing- expression, he deems it trustworthy enough to reach out and take the handkerchief from him.  

Rather than wipe the tears and blood off his skin, Eren unfolds the fabric, spreads it out over both of his palms and then buries his face into his hands. Levi watches the child’s bony shoulders shake, his sobs quiet but harsh as he leans elbows on knees and curls in on himself.  

              ‘ _He is tiny._ ’ Levi thinks to himself, his brow furrowing as he notices the shadows between the boy’s ribs every time he takes a shuddering breath. He is close to emaciated, skin bruised in different places, patches of colors blemishing his tanned skin.  

The man closes his eyes minutely, unfamiliarly overwhelmed, before stepping away towards the door. On his way he picks up the blade, glances over his shoulder at the young boy who has yet to move from the bed.  

              “Will anyone be missing this?” Levi asks and raises the knife, his fingers already smudged with thick blood that had yet to dry fully. Eren peeks up from his hands, sniffles and then slowly processes the question. He shakes his head.  

With that reply Levi wraps another handkerchief around the weapon’s blade, dulling it before he pockets it inside his jacket.  

              “You didn’t kill anyone.” He adds, staring at the child until he nods once more, his eyes wide and shiny. It's doubtful he'd be put to trial, considering he hardly looks twelve. Regardless of any possible outcomes, it's clever for the kid to just keep quiet and blame a stranger for the murder.   
Just in case. 

For a few minutes he keeps watching how the boy stares at the body on the floor and it feels wrong to walk out like this, without a word, without making sure the boy is taken care of, or more so taken out of this place to somewhere far away and safe.  

But it is not Levi’s job to worry, nor to help. Eren is one of thousands in the world which somehow validates his excuse to consider supporting the boy as time wasted; a useless effort. Thus, he turns around, exits the room and allows the door in between Eren and himself to click shut; separating them.

* * *

 

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	3. Part 2

******chapter WARNINGS****** _**  
** _

_**mentioning of past ErwinxLevi:** _

_**I rewrote this chapter a lot because it was too eruri heavy.  
T**_ _**here's one part where their past relationship is mentioned and one part where their bickering might come across as flirting when considering their past!** _

_**!!! Hence, I'll put the eruri parts***between these*** just to make sure I don't piss off people again. !!!  
(these parts are not plot heavy either, so don't worry on skipping them)**_

**Eruri won't be as present anymore in this fic.  
** I'll be adjusting the plot along the way so Erwin's intentions are caused by something other than his possessiveness/jealousy over Levi (as was my plan before). **  
** Thanks for understanding!

**PART 2.**

 

          H e   i s   a n   o b n o x i o u s   m a n .   Too clever, too sneaky, too much of a tactical being to not have Levi dislike him at least a little bit.  

Erwin Smith; alas Levi's boss, alas ruler of various gangs shaped by savages, alas infamous criminal of the biggest caliber who manages and directs one of the country's largest underground businesses, is a man to be wary of.  

Such as Levi knows of Smith's preference to keep his cards close to his chest -always the lover of playing games-, Erwin, in turn, is quite aware of Levi's ingrained desires. Desires that have to do with continuously aching for a freedom no human being is granted in this world steered to revolve around money, sex and power.  

Joining the fact that Levi will never be the free bird he's so dearly aching to be, it is only logical his personality is a difficult one. His disdain for humanity in and on itself has filled him with rebelliousness.  

Levi revels when he's the one in control and grows agitated when forced into a routine that is not directed by his own hands. Next to his moodiness there is enjoyment to be found in spewing like a sailor. His mouth -absolutely filthy- is likely the dirtiest part of his obsessively hygienic and pristine self. That is unless he washes it with a bar of soap every night before heading to bed. Which he doesn't.  

The assassin's luck of being kept employed lies within not only his talent but as well in the friendship shared with Erwin. When considering that Smith is overall an unforgiving and ruthless character, it is easy to predict him being unappreciative of foul language and the lack of respect that comes with it. Regardless, he's tolerant when it comes to Levi, fair and even generous.  

 ******* Next to the friendship between Levi and Erwin that had begun before either one of them had reached adolescence, there are drunken nights spent in tangled bedsheets to consider as bonding material as well. Regardless, those days are long gone and will never be repeated. *******

 ******* Levi's left eyebrow twitches at the memory and he can barely stop himself from grimacing. *******

          "What?" Levi snaps at the blond man seated across of him, behind the desk, on a chair so large and expensive it might as well be considered a throne.  

Smith's smile widens when he leans back in his chair, his hands folding neatly to rest on his stomach.  

          "In relation to your last assignment, rumor has it that they're looking for a _'Levi'_ out there."  

This catches his attention. Levi does not recall having said his name to Mrs. Peters, and even if he had he would've given a false one belonging to one of the many fake identities he's stolen over the years. Though if he did do such a foolish thing, he would not have expected of her to be dumb enough to throw it out there.  

          "Oh?" Levi says lightly. "Shall I pay her a visit then?"  

At this, Erwin's smile grows to resemble that of a wolf baring its teeth and it causes Levi to tense visibly.  

          "You'd not be able to hurt a woman if your life depended on it."  

          "Excuse m-"  

          "Either way." Erwin interrupts, successfully causing Levi's jaws to snap close, shutting him up for the moment. "It wasn't Mrs. Peters."  

Levi blinks at that, sitting up in his chair.  

Erwin keeps his eye for a moment, always annoyingly fond of stretching out the inevitable, as if one of his pleasures in life is to watch every man in front of him squirm at some point in time. Levi never squirms though, especially not for Erwin, and thus refuses to indulge his boss.  

He remains impeccably still, hoping dearly it'll irk Smith.  

After a short while Erwin ceases the stare-down and doesn't seem affected by Levi's performance of immature stubbornness in the slightest.  

The blond leans forward, opening a drawer in his desk and retrieving a folder which he immediately slides over to Levi.  

Hesitating for a second, Levi glances at Erwin, his eyebrows raised questioningly and, naturally, his boss gives him nothing to go on. Levi opens the file after a petulant sigh has fallen from his lips.  

Turning the pages impatiently, Levi then abruptly halts when faced with the fifth one.  

          "Eren Jäger." He murmurs the name printed above the picture of a scrawny and filthy child. Hiding his surprise, Levi reads the little data and information available.  

 _'Orphan', 'twelve years of age', 'homeless'._  

          "Dawk's men got him. So, it is safe to say they've tortured the answers out of him by now."  

Levi stirs, his blood running cold at Erwin's words, his mind's eye immediately witnessing heinous images involving Eren. His lips thin as he presses them together and Smith, the fucker, leaps at the show of emotion like a lion at a lamb.  

          "You know him?" His intonation matches that of a question being asked, but Levi knows the man somehow already has the answer.  

          "No." Levi shakes his head once, still staring at the boy's picture. "He was sharing the room with my last target. I initiated some small-talk with the kid after I'd killed the guy in front of him. I didn't want him to scream or panic. He was shaking and-" Levi bites his tongue, putting a halt to his rant. "-and I might've let my name slip in the process."  

Erwin nods, features frustratingly unreadable. Levi has to force his body to relax.  

          "No matter. Knowing Dawk, the boy is buried somewhere in a cornfield by now." Erwin says lightly and Levi bites his tongue harder, aware that Smith never says a word without having chewed it thoroughly beforehand. His sentence has a meaning to it, a goal, and it is obvious to Levi that he is trying to draw a reaction from him.  

He sounds almost as if mocking him, as if wanting to lure him out of his cage. For whatever reason he's conjured up.  

          "Undoubtedly." Levi agrees numbly. "My name was the only information I've given him."  

It pains him, somehow, to know this child has been murdered for only a name and perhaps a vague description of Levi's appearance. He closes the folder and leans back in his seat with a huff, stroking fingers through raven strands.  

Erwin follows him in body language, though goes for hiding his lips behind curled fingers as he props chin onto a hand; obscuring any facial expression he might let slip to the surface.  

          "Dawk isn't too fond of you, or me for that matter, and we both know he will go to great lengths in order to prevent us from stealing his marks and, incidentally, his men." Erwin begins. Levi nods.  

Nile Dawk is the rival boss of criminal business in the northern part of the country. A greedy man who's been trying and failing at bribing Erwin and any of his men. By now, pride damaged, he's changed tactics and unavoidably has become a greater idiot than Levi thought possible.  

Smith's men are loyal to their boss. The blond is talented at keeping peace in a business that truly is anything but gentle and kind. The pay as well can be defined as generous, even when considering they're already working jobs that earn four-digit number salaries a month. Not to mention, Erwin is a patient and considerate man to those who've earned his respect.  

Contrarily, Nile Dawk disciplines by means of straight-forward abuse, torture, blackmail and murder for the dumbest of reasons. Whereas Smith offers solid and clear warnings to anyone joining them. He goes as far as to repeat these particular rules, and the consequences if broken, every trimester during various meetings.  

Leaving prejudice and assumptions aside, instead offering respect and trust, is what keeps nearly all men in hand. There's always the few petty green criminals daring to betray the trust put in them. But, those are taken care of; swiftly.  

Needless to say, that plenty of Dawk's men cross over from the shitty to the classy. In return they are promised protection by Erwin from anyone Nile might send after them to drag them back or, more commonly, to have them executed.  

Nile Dawk is a wrathful and vengeful man. His desperation dressed in a see-through cloak of 'honor'.  

In Levi's opinion there's little honor to be found in using your men to kidnap and abuse women and children, and he's come to know that at times these innocent people are related to some working under him. Nile will abuse a man's child, wife or relative for the sake of intimidating them into staying and working under his hand.  

These are the most fragile bonds of faithfulness one can tie another with. The leash will snap eventually and he'll either be hung by those who were once considered lesser than him, or he'll be left to fend on his own, for himself.  

          "I assume Dawk has misinterpreted the situation between yourself and the prostitute. Perhaps he's been given wrongful information that led him to believe you had a history together, and thus the child would've had something to say about you." Levi considers this.  

          "Leave it to that daft rat to grow delusional enough to be thinking up such assumptions with nothing to back them up with." Levi clacks his tongue, eyes resting on an amused looking Erwin.  

          "Well, he is rather eager to end you. Has been for a long time. After all, you are my right-hand man."  

          "And here I thought he is leaving a path of destruction because I insulted those seven and a half hairs he calls a moustache, years ago." Levi says and Smith uncharacteristically snorts at that.  

          "I think it has more to do with you being the best in the business, Levi."  

Levi rolls his eyes at the compliment and dryly states,  

          ******* "If you want me to get you someone to kiss their ass all day, all you have to do is ask." *******

        ******* "I prefer kissing  _your_  ass only, though your offer is deeply appreciated, thank you." Erwin replies without missing a beat and Levi, though annoyed, smirks. After all, it is not every day that one may witness the wonder that is Erwin displaying his humble sense of humour, crude language included like a fucking bonus going down on Levi's funny-bone. *******  

Smith rises from his seat, dismissing the discussion unhurriedly, and rounds his desk towards his office's door.  

Levi remains seated for a few more seconds because it grants him the illusion of himself being the one in charge when it comes to his relationship with Erwin.  

          "There's an address written down on the last page." Smith says when Levi has gotten up and starts walking over to him. "It is where they've last been seen, yesterday night. If ignorant enough, he might be waiting for you to go after him."  

Levi tuts once, a sound that expresses his displeasure.  

          "That'd be fucking stupid of him, though." The shorter man complains candidly as he glances at the address before closing the file once more.  

          "Well, it's Nile we're talking about, so." Erwin agrees whilst he walks him to the door. Levi, though amused, doesn't smirk, deeming one of those to be enough for the blond for one day.  

          "Are you going to go after him?" His boss adds.  

          "We haven't been able to pin Nile down to a location yet, it'd be dumb to not make sure if he's still there or not." Levi explains and then wonders why it sounds like he's making up excuses for outing an opinion which should be considered logical and not in need of being justified.  _'Maybe it isn't the man you want to find there, but someone else entirely.'_  His thoughts suggest and Levi folds the file in half, aggressively.  

He shoves the insulting papers in a pocket of his jacket, hurriedly, and is satisfied when spotting the grimace on his boss' face. The loud and pained noises of paper being bent and folded every which way seem to legitimately upset the collected man.  

          "Are you planning on killing him?" The blond asks when Levi opens the door and steps outside of the office into a bare hallway. He turns around to face Erwin.  

          "Maybe, why?" He asks, leaning a hand on the doorknob to his left, and watches his boss closely.  

          "Just making sure you're going there for that reason."  

The comment hits Levi as suspicious, but he maintains his composure, stepping a tad closer to the taller man. His head tilts back as he forces himself to meet Smith's gaze.  

          "What other reason could there be, Erwin?"  

The man lifts an eyebrow, not used to Levi addressing him by anything other than _'_ _big-ass_ _tree'_ or the more preferred  _'Mr. Smith'_ when in company of others.  

          "What? You think I'm going to switch sides?"  

Erwin frowns at Levi's remark and shakes his head.  

Levi narrows his eyes.  

          "You're not that good at hiding your worries." Levi murmurs, his eyes scanning his boss' features, finding a hint of curiosity in them.  

          "I'm not trying to." Erwin says, admitting to some degree there are worries he's pondering over. Despite knowing this, Levi still isn't sure what he's actually thinking of. Levi being capable enough of taking care of himself assures him that his safety is not something the man's worried over. Loyalty as well is not an issue to second-guess. Then what is left? 

          "I'll call you." Levi promises before stepping away and slamming the door in Erwin's face, knowing he's going to get shit for it later.  

No matter, priorities currently lie in choking Nile Dawk to death and preferably find Eren's body so Levi can lay it some place to rest.  

It is the least he can do, considering it is his fault the kid had fallen into Dawk's hands. Had it not been for having met Levi, he'd still have been alive today. Sure, Eren's existence would've still been shit but…  

Survival is a part of life. And death is only the premature ending to what could have been.

* * *

 

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	4. Part 3

**PART 3.**

 

          H e ' s   g o n e ,   L e v i   n o t e s   w i t h   d i s p l e a s u r e   tasting bitter on his tongue. He feels disappointed, though he knows one day Nile Dawk won't run fast enough and Levi will take great satisfaction out of this, along with the man's life.  

Their dance has been going on for far too long. A dance in which Dawk beckons Levi, yet always ends up losing his nerve the closer the assassin gets to him. He wants to lead, of course he does, but no one drags Levi along like they would a woman in dance. The man's desperate desire to stay in touch with Levi, to interact with him, quite fairly disgusts him.  

Fear of commitment and emotional constipation aside, Levi cannot imagine anyone spending time, willingly, with Dawk. Even the dumbest around know to avoid that clingy serpent. It's obnoxious. Like being stalked by a fatherless, teenage girl who is as willing to lay with grown men as she is to stab her crush's wife to death, if only to be noticed by him.  

Levi pauses at his thoughts, accidentally imagining Nile Dawk clad in a female school uniform, pigtails and knee socks included, peeking from behind the corner of his house. Watching Levi come and go throughout the days.  

He clacks his tongue, disturbingly amused as well as pissed at his intrusive thoughts. Maybe years of bloodshed have finally caught up with him. maybe he has finally lost his damn mind.  

Whilst Levi considers his sanity, he resumes his pace and opens another door inside the aged and deserted building.  

The stench of mold and past acts of violation aren't as bothersome to Levi as the half an inch of dirt covering every horizontal surface in this crack-house, floors included. Particles of dust flutter into the beam from Levi's flashlight, as if being drawn to a false sun.  

Farther down the hallway he can spot a large and dark stain on the wooden floorboards. He goes to inspect, lowering himself onto the backs of his heels and directing the light onto it. The beam reveals crimson hues within the near black fluid which by now has seeped into the wood, dried and dulled.  

Going by its shape resembling that of a star, the stain appears to have been splattered onto the ground. Drops or streaks would've served far more toned-down shapes.  

Levi looks up from the blood at his feet, shines the flashlight down the length of the narrow hallway and spots more patches of black leading to a door at the end of it. He rises to his feet and follows the blood.  

Near the door there are dirty-red streaks decorating the wall to his left, the shapes and directions of which provide Levi the image of someone having clawed at it whilst another had dragged them through the hallway.  

The contrast between pale-blue, paisley printed wallpaper and the telling evidence of a useless struggle for life is eerie at best.  

More worrisome is the fact that the blood prints have yet to dry completely.  

Levi reaches up, clenching the flashlight between his teeth so he can retrieve his handgun from the shoulder-holster underneath his black jacket, and hold it in both hands. With elbows bent and the weapon resting against his shoulder -preventing anyone from slapping it from his grip- Levi enters the room.  

Predictably, the door creaks as if pained at being nudged open gently by Levi's foot. The man clenches his teeth more firmly on the plastic between them, bothered at not being able to grind them together instead. He's never shied away from nursing irrational hatred towards inanimate objects.  

The room is completely empty, spare for a ton of dust and a few chunks of plaster having crumbled down from the ceiling. And then also the trail of blood splatters, present less frequently and smaller in diameter, leading to another door in the farthest right corner across of Levi.  

He narrows his eyes, spotting the cold blue-white glow escaping through the gap of the door left ajar. It is not an artificial light, regardless of its enchanting hue, and Levi recognizes it for belonging to a full moon.  

The opportunity doesn't go by unnoticed and Levi gratefully pockets his flashlight before pacing towards the other room. His feet are light, patient and careful, though the floor still decides to perform a symphony of creaks and groans.  

Ignoring the serenade being sung to his leather-clad feet, Levi listens for anything else. He halts, testing the patience and trepidation of a possible enemy hiding out of sight.  

When a handful of minutes have passed Levi goes from leaning beside the door against a wall to nudging it open farther with his foot.  

When he turns, entering the room with his pistol grasped firmly in hand and with moonlight forcing itself through dirty windows; conveniently illuminating every dark corner in the small space, Levi's breath stutters to a stop.  

On top of a thin mattress, a naked body lies; filthy, skinny, bruised and battered, curled into a ball on top. And it remains deadly still.  

Levi only hears the distant rush of his own blood being pumped by an overactive heart. He does not, in fact, witness any breathing coming from the tiny person in front of him.  

After having eyed every corner, making sure no one else is present, Levi closes the door behind him and slips his handgun back into the leather holster underneath his jacket. It is only three steps to the bed. It reeks of sweat, filth and dirty laundry.  

Glad to be wearing gloves, Levi places his fingers on the person's knobby shoulder, rests them there. The black leather looks dull against the dirtied skin.  

A ridiculous amount of time and effort takes place before Levi finds the guts to roll the unmoving body onto its back.  

And he knows who it is, already knew, doesn't really need to confront himself with the evidence. However, morbid curiosity -or perhaps blossoming masochism- urges him to declare the child dead.  

He is angry at himself when witnessing the truth in Eren's bruised and swollen face. Angry at how the sight is being thrown in front of him, forcing him to deal with the facts. Angry at how his heart has the audacity to stop beating for multiple seconds. Angry at how his mouth goes dry, how his hands tremble and how his brain decides to go on a strike; its only focus lain upon the child and the blame slathered onto his ruined body. An unfamiliar emotion thickens the guilt and forces it into the man's throat.  

He swallows, more than once, before taking a deep breath and then proceeds fighting his own mind as it mends together memories of his own childhood with the crippling sight of Eren's state in front of him. Moreover, Levi tries desperately to prevent his brain from replaying images of the night in which he'd first laid eyes upon the boy.  

A night which has been clinging to him since the moment he had stepped outside of that whorehouse, two weeks ago.  

He tries to stop himself, so hard.  

Yet Levi's conscience is unforgiving and resumes haunting him as he lets his fingers drop from Eren's shoulder; allowing the child to slip from his guilty hands.

* * *

 

 

        L e v i   d e c i d e s   o n   g r a n t i n g   E r e n   a   b u r i a l .  

Burning him seems too violent, as if ensuring him a dive into hell before he's even left this earth, body and soul. The short and miserable life that had been inhabited by Eren is not deserving of being put to a close in such ruthless fashion.  

Returning him to family is likely a useless effort. The child is an orphan to begin with, his parents having either died or deemed him worthless enough to not care about his future or the premature end that'd so likely been connected to it.   
Not to mention, if there is someone out there looking for this child, and they find out about how he's come to pass on, there could be hell to pay. Regardless that the person who's delivered the final blow had been Nile or any of his men, it could lead them easily to Erwin.  

Not only would Erwin skin his ass, but Levi would never forgive himself if his unusual bout of sympathy had his whole gang thrown into the line of fire.  

Putting Eren six feet into the ground isn't ideal either, when taking into consideration that the child will rot away slowly, will be consumed by maggots and nature, will have his bones left in the cold and dark for ages to come.  

However, it still beats leaving him here to lie on a blood- and semen-tainted mattress, inside of a house that is overflowing with the echoes of what brutality Eren has been through before exhaling his last breath.  

For once, Levi's heart and conscience agree with one another, and allow the man to gently lift the child off the bed.  

The state of him seems  _unholy_. A ruthless criminal would not be put through such harsh punishment, let alone an innocent child. Perhaps the comparison is what allows Levi to bypass his own disgust for all that is dirty and reeks, and instead cradle the young boy close to his chest.  

The act of overcoming his own petty boundaries regarding cleanliness and hygiene, grants Levi a reward immediately.  

The warmth that seeps from the body he's pressed close to himself, slowly travels through the fabric of his button-up.  

          ' _He's alive?_ ' Levi thinks to himself before cradling the back of the kid's head, steadying his neck and skull before he begins to shift his weight from one foot to the other, swaying the boy carefully like one would rock a sleeping infant.  

Sense of vertigo, and the survival mechanism from which it is grown, often succeeds in waking a person from the deepest levels of unconsciousness when manipulated into unnatural motions and angles. The brain will become eager to shake itself awake, kick itself into gear and try to figure out whether to fight or flee.  

Either that, or sound.  

Levi murmurs his name quietly, even in this setting he remains wary of possible threats being led towards him because he's barked out a telling noise, easily located.  

And because the last thing Levi wants to do is cause this child any more distress. Shouting in his face just wouldn't do.  

When Eren gasps, Levi feels oddly out of place, as if having packed his bags and left his own mind and body. The sound might be the most candid manner in which the child could've ever proven to Levi that he is alive. It is a greedy breath, like the first one taken in forever, shuddering and desperate enough for Levi to suspect the kid had been gone for at least a moment.  

Mere seconds later, when Eren has passed out again, his breathing now audible and steady, a rush of relief washes over Levi. It crashes him, nearly drowning the man, weakening his limbs though forcing his heart to beat at a mad pace.  

Levi kicks himself for he'd almost went ahead and buried a human being alive. Though, it wouldn't have been the first time. Unless you consider the keyword to be ' _accidental_ ' in which case, yes, this would've been a first.  

When he adjusts his grip on the child, pressing him closer, he can feel his breath fan out against his shoulder; warm and soft. The rhythm and life to it calms the man down. He inhales and exhales together with Eren for a moment, his eyes closed, and collects his wits.  

It doesn't take long and within minutes Levi stands outside of the worn building, in the middle of a withered and abandoned cornfield. Erwin had been half right, Levi begrudgingly admits to himself in the quiet of the night, as he recalls the man mentioning Eren likely would be found in a location such as this one. 

He tilts back his head, eyes the gaping pitch-black above and without his own consent presses Eren closer to his chest, reveling in the warmth and the lightness which dead bodies never possess.  

When he manages to shake off the thick atmosphere, Levi carries Eren to his car farther down the crooked dirt road. He deposits him onto the backseat, shrugs off his jacket and lays it over the skinny, curled up form, and for once doesn't fret over the dirt that'll surely be pressed into the expensive leather of the car-seats and the fabric of his coat.  

During the two-hour ride towards his home, every time Levi glances over his shoulder at Eren he experiences a rush to see him alive. Like a drug habit, an addiction... A tell-tale premonition to what he'd be experiencing in the future with this kid.                  

* * *

 

 

 

          A r o u n d   t w o   i n   t h e   m o r n i n g   L e v i   s t e e r s   u p   t h e   d r i v e w a y   of his home before putting the car in park. He turns off the engine, the headlights dimming and leaving him to stare into the darkness outside.  

It takes him a few minutes to get moving, instead staying seated with his fingers wrapped tightly around the leather of his steering wheel. When he does glance over his shoulder, witnessing the very reality of having a wounded and homeless creature in the back of his car, Levi clenches his teeth.  

          ' _What the hell do you think you're doing, Levi?_ ' He asks himself and no reply comes. What is he thinking bringing this boy back to his home? What does he expect? He can hardly stand having a pet in his house living alongside him, let alone a child.  

The man exhales through his nose before opening the door and exiting his vehicle.  

Once outside, the wind rustles through the leaves of the trees framing Levi's house, and ruffles his hair for a second before settling down. It is a cold night, though the scent is unmistakably that of summer  

Levi shudders before opening another door of his car and carefully retrieving Eren from the backseat. The boy is still warm, his breathing still steady and soft, and Levi wraps him more tightly in his jacket to prevent the cold from lapping at his skin.  

Once inside, Levi quietly shuts the door behind him by using his shoulder and locks it firmly before heading up the staircase across of him. The dimmed spotlights ignite when triggered by movement and conveniently illuminate the way up the steps for him.  

As he ascends, Levi finally ceases avoiding the fact that he has taken a hurt person into his home and asks himself whether or not to have a look at the injuries layering the boy's skin. He is not comfortable with having to bathe the filthy boy, for more reasons than one, nor does he look forward to inspecting damage that he's indirectly been the cause of. For all his confidence and straightforwardness in daily life, Levi is having an uncharacteristically hard time with being assertive when it comes to Eren. Whereas the man has been in situations before that would end him up with a beating if talking back, he still had talked back and taken the beating like a foolish champ. He's done plenty of shit in his twenty-six years of life, but being unsure of himself has never been one of them.  

The doubt, the hesitation and the trepidation within him now, scare him more than standing at the other end of a gun. Levi isn't afraid to die, never has, but his heart skips a beat every time he glances down at the child in his arms.  

As he reaches the floor, the man pauses, eyes the door to his right which leads to the restroom, and then the one to his left behind which lies his bedroom.  

Take care of him? Or let him rest?  

Levi shifts the boy in his arms, carefully prodding the back of his head to find a gash or bump, strokes his finger through Eren's hair and only feeling dirt and grease, no sticky blood. It is likely Eren will survive the night if wrapped in blankets on a soft bed located inside of a heated room... Right?  

He sinks his teeth into his lower lip for a moment, nipping at the skin as he ponders on and on. However, his mind again drags his own past into the present and in no time Levi recalls what it is like to be touched against your will, by someone you despise. He remembers how it very quickly and very forcefully urged him to distrust everyone seeking contact with him, physical or emotional.  

Nails digging into his skin had etched something into the slate of his mind and it had gotten dirtied immediately. Thoroughly.    
A notion, a recall of Levi having been tainted in the past, reminds him that he himself could easily spread the filth onto the boy, no matter his intentions.  

Thus, resolutely, Levi turns left and enters his bedroom.  

Eren clings to the fabric of Levi's coat wrapped around him when the man lowers him onto his bed. Still he remains in a deep slumber and Levi pulls the white blanket over the boy before he goes to fetch another thicker one, laying this one over the child as well.  

After a moment of watching him and listening to his breaths, Levi lowers himself onto the backs of his heels next to the bed.  

He closely observes the damage done to Eren's features. The most apparent injury is the black eye, skin swollen and inflamed, reds and blacks marking nearly all of the left side of Eren's face. Levi doubts the kid will be able to open that eye for the first few days, perhaps weeks, and wouldn't be surprised if there's permanent damage done to the retina.  

He grimaces, then lowers his gaze to Eren's mouth, the lower lip of which is split badly. There's quite an amount of dried blood on his mouth and chin, dirty red beginning to flake in such fashion it makes Levi's hands itch to wipe it away with a wet cloth.   
The flesh around the gash, as well, is swollen and the man suspects it already having gotten infected.  

          ' _They did a number on you, didn't they?_ ' Levi thinks, brushing a hand over his own face before resting his chin onto his palm, elbow propped on a knee. He remains seated as such, looking at the boy for a long moment though his mind is elsewhere.  

A soft sigh falls from Levi's lips a while later as he rises and peels the glove off his right hand. He reaches out towards Eren face, hesitates, then changes direction and instead places two fingers against the side of the kid's throat, underneath a jawline too sharp for a kid his age.  

Though annoyed for being worried in the first place, Levi is pleased when feeling the steady rhythm of a strong and eager heartbeat.  

His lips press together as he bites back the unfamiliar urge to smile.  

When Levi leaves the bedroom, he tells himself that whether or not the boy makes it out through the night alive, it won't make much of a difference to his own emotional state.  

* * *

                                                          

 

          T h e   n e x t   d a y   L e v i   f o r b i d s   h i m s e l f   from checking on the child who has yet to exit his bedroom or show any sign of being alive to begin with.  

He sticks to the right side of the hallway, as if fearing anything but an innocent kid being contained behind the closed door. It is quite possibly the most childish act he's pulled in years.  

He tells himself he is being quiet around the house because he does not want to stir Eren awake and be forced to interact with him. However, the truth lies closer to Levi knowing that rest is one of the most helpful things one may be blessed with to heal from physical trauma. The same cannot be said for the psychological kind though, not at all.  

Also, he refuses to accept another factor nibbling at his conscience, being that he wants to avoid seeing the state of the kid, to be confronted by injuries lit in the sunlight that generously seeps into his home through floor-to-ceiling windows.  

Having seen them in the night had been bad enough. He truly doesn't need a spotlight turned onto Eren's every cut and bruise.  

Still, though so distressed and shaken by the strong emotions he is experiencing towards a stranger, though so agitated with himself and though being so frustratingly unsure when it comes to anything regarding Eren… Then still, Levi is not granted enough peace of mind in order to ignore the boy's wellbeing fully.  

The man agrees with himself to at least leave a plate of food, a glass of water and some painkillers at his bedroom door. Counterweight being that he still will not check on Eren, will not set foot into that room until either the boy comes out or the stench of decomposition seeps from the narrow gap between the floor and wooden door.  

Shameless as his tactic for avoiding confrontation is, Levi still grows warm when by night he finds empty dishes outside of the closed bedroom door.  

 

* * *

 

 

          T h e y   m a n a g e   t o   a v o i d   o n e   a n o t h e r   for two whole days.  

Levi finds the boy having unpacked and used the toothbrush he'd left for him on the bathroom's sink. Its wrapping tossed into the trashcan placed next to the toilet bowl and the porcelain of the sink is spotless, not a drop of toothpaste or saliva to be found.  

Used towels are hung neatly over the rim of the shower cubicle, left to dry before they may be tossed with the rest of the laundry in a tall, black basket nearby.   
They're almost as filthy as the cotton balls Levi's seen in the trashcan earlier that morning. The scent of antiseptic stinging his nose when he'd lifted the lid.  

It's as impressive as it is endearingly sad to know Eren has spent time in this bathroom nursing his own wounds and bruises, prodding and inspecting them. It causes Levi to wonder whether the boy has had to do this before in the past.  

Just how often has Eren had to take care of his own painful injuries, attached to them; even more painful memories?  

Levi clenches his fists, glares at his reflection whilst grinding teeth, tells himself to stop obsessing over this boy who shouldn't matter to the world at all, let alone to him. He is one of so damn many. Why does it matter?  

Because he's a human being deserving to live life? Just as deserving as the men Levi kills for cash? Because he's a child? A child such as everyone had once been?   
It hits him as absolutely pathetic to nurse such sympathy for a brat he doesn't even know. It relates to a hypocrisy he has never related to himself before.  

Levi huffs, then scoffs at his reflection before looking away and going to clothe himself. Once dressed, the man opens the bathroom door, a wave of steam surrounding him as it exits the space alongside him.  

It suits as a fog blanket, momentarily blinding him until it goes to settle, revealing to him a very awake, very startled and very alive Eren in the hallway, gazing up at him; mouth agape, eyes bright.  

* * *

 

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	5. Part 4

 

**PART 4.**

 

          E r e n ,   r i d   o f   t h e   t h i c k   l a y e r   o f   f i l t h ,   reveals all sorts of beauty.  

Levi has never been a man fond of the shallow pleasures that are in any way related to a person's appearance. Though mankind is wired to find appeal in one another, beauty being nature's assurance of one being healthy and sufficient, Levi has always been wary of rooted instincts.  

As someone who trusts his gut, he still despises the loss of control that accompanies the animal desire one experiences regarding lust. Gut tells him to give all thoughts a chance to surface, or if there's no time left to analyze, it will tell him to either seize or cease an interaction, a fight. Instinct, on the other hand, prods and nags the back of Levi's mind with the ridiculous notion of needing to breed, needing to fuck, needing to come out the bigger man, to win and subdue anyone in vicinity.  

He is disgusted of being reduced to an animal. Resolutely refuses to perceive himself as a marginally evolved caveman. Hence, instinct has not been a part of him for quite some time now. 

The irony of his job isn't lost on him, yet he receives no pleasure from taking lives, rather it leaves him eerily indifferent.   
And this indifference, Levi is proud to note, he's taught himself.  

Needless to say, Levi has not indulged on the carnal fest of devouring another's body between the sheets for years. And when he had it had been for killing time by means of entertainment, one hundred percent, and it had had nothing to do with an ancient setting programmed within his brain, defaulting him to eat, sleep, shit and produce offspring.  

This is why, on those rare occasions, he'd optioned to fuck men rather than women for they lack a womb and will never grant him a living fruit. And vice versa for whenever he'd willingly turned over for another to mount him. It's meaning: pleasure.   
Intercourse –to Levi- has little to do with carnal instinct and all to do with him choosing his own path towards stress relief.  

Long story short, Levi craves to be in control of anything that has set camp in his life, moreover of himself. He cannot let go.  

However, he finds himself within the arms of hypocrisy once more when assuring himself it is petty instinct that attracts him to this boy, this child who cannot bear children for he is not female and even if he were, he would be too young to befit the role of a capable mother. This kid who looks disgustingly unhealthy, frail and frightened. This boy whose eyes are too big for his face, with a hint of freckles dusting the bridge of his small nose and unruly messy hair colored with hues of dirt and sand, as if he has spent all of his life on the beach and underneath the sun. This boy with a sluggish and lazy build to his bony body and with his skin marked by other men; defiled and degraded.   

Absolutely nothing about Eren would lure another closer by their instinct alone (except those possessing the mother hen gene, which, undoubtedly, Levi does not carry even the slightest amount of), and it makes no sense whatsoever for Levi to experience such appreciation for the physical beauty displayed before him.   

Still, he blames instinct because if not subconscious animal nature then why would anyone in their right mind be this in awe of a child's appearance? 

Which begs the question; how sane is he underneath the layers of composure and semi-normalcy? 

Sensing his thoughts are going in circles, making up excuses for his excuses, Levi blinks himself back into reality. 

Eren's gaze is wide, like a doe's; innocent, scared and dumb. And it stirs something within Levi who has been holding his breath long enough for his heart to stutter, punching his ribcage to question his lungs. He exhales and with his breath comes the definite description suiting Eren.  

For a second Levi deems Eren a victim. However, as he recalls this boy having stabbed a man three times his size to death, he has to come to a different conclusion. Victims do not fight.  

They lay themselves down and allow the onslaught to crawl over them, smother them. Eren has fought once and, Levi is certain, has been doing so his whole life, yet he remains too subdued to resemble anything close to a victor.  

So, then…  

Levi tenses visibly and without his own consent he takes a step back, fingers wrapping tightly around the door handle.  

The boy's eyes seem incapable of averting their gaze and Levi watches his mouth open and close repeatedly, like a fish on dry land. The description must be fitting to Eren's current emotions for he appears as breathless and eager to flail as a dying animal would.  

          "I-I didn't tell them." The kid says, voice stuttering and thick with the sleep that as well is being shown in the cow-licked state of his hair and the indent on his right cheek where fabric has left a creased pattern.  

Levi tells himself he is disgusted like he's always been of people he'd woken up next to in the past. Mornings reek of sweat and skin, whereas evenings possess the scent of solidarity and the calm that accompanies it.  

          "They already knew. That you-" He gulps, eyes searching Levi's face for any emotion, which Levi makes sure he'll fail to find. 

            " - that you were there. And I told them it was me who…-"  

The kid pauses again and Levi isn't sure whether he is trying to collect and rearrange his scrambled thoughts or if he is remembering what had happened that night. Going by the darkness of his blue-green eyes, Levi suspects the latter of being the case.  

          "-who killed that man. B-but they didn't believe me. They wouldn't believe me because I'm just a child and-" Eren's eyes grow watery, though his fists clench and nostrils flare, telling Levi that the unshed tears in the boy's eyes are not at all related to sadness. He's powerless and angry for it. It befits him.  

          "Please believe me. Please, sir, I tried so hard."  

Levi blinks. The manner in which a defenseless child is pleading him, polite but desperate as it is obviously expecting to be punished ruthlessly, uncoils an unfitting sensation within him. It throws him off, forces him to clench his jaws and inhale through his nose.  

          "I believe you." Levi lies, tight-lipped, not trusting a tiny boy like Eren having had enough courage to save a stranger's skin, to undergo torture for another's sake. Why would he have risked that?  

Because Levi had not touched him? Had given him a lousy handkerchief? Had remained calm and soft-voiced? Is that every ingredient to create a cocktail of misplaced fondness over any being not abusive towards him? Is he that easy to fool? Truly the child isn't  _that_  stupid. Out of anyone  _he_  should be one to know that mankind is the most untrustworthy and destructive of beings.  

Levi can't relate to it for he himself is suspicious of those who hurt him and even more towards those who are kind to him ever since he'd been of a similar age to Eren's (and even earlier than that).  

Eren is trembling. His little chest, dressed in a shirt of Levi's, heaves. His eyes are shifting continuously, his bare legs show Levi not only imprints of fingertips on the thighs and scrapes on the knees, but as well the knobby juts of his ankles as his feet point inwards with toes curled into the carpet.  

The sight is painfully endearing.  

The man's skin grows tight over his flesh and Levi carefully lets go of the handle he's been squeezing like there'd be no tomorrow. He steps forward, pointedly directs his eyes towards the staircase behind the boy, at the end of the hallway, and goes as far as having his shoulder touch the wall on his left, only to assure Eren his intention is to pass him by, not attack him.  

Still, as Levi walks, Eren makes sure to keep his front facing him, his own back towards the opposite wall. It is not the behavior of a victim. His survival instinct is still in overdrive, his urge to live wired into his bloodstream, he is frightened, is aware of the danger around him and though submissive; ready to either fight or run.  

So, then…  

The man descends the staircase without looking behind him, confident the boy won't jump his back if not threatened by the predatory figure that is Levi.  

See, Eren is far from a victim, but still absolutely possesses the tempting promise of satisfying another's desire, the offer of flesh for another's greedy mouth, the willingness to live but not tempt danger, the eagerness to remain but the knowledge of odds being never in their favor.  

Rooted deeply within the child is the instinct of prey.    

* * *

 

 

          T h e   d a y s   g o   b y   a t   a   t o r t u r o u s l y   s l o w   p a c e ,   in which Eren maintains his quiet demeanor, a stillness so severe it causes Levi to spend hours on trying to figure him out. Which, surprisingly enough is hard to do, regardless of him being nearly a decade and half older than the child.  

Eren is silent, his face only portraying wariness and anxiousness besides the default numbness that lingers over his features more often than not. His eyes are far away, dull at times, glassy at moments.  

A week passes them by. Eren's bruises change colors though do not lose their cruel tales, and Levi doubts they ever will, even on the day the boy's skin will be golden smooth.  

His behavior remains without personality. His shoulders still stiff and hunched; tense.  

Levi forces himself to stick to a routine as best as possible, if only to try and relax the child so he won't have to stare at the painful picture that is Eren's drawn up shoulders and stiff muscles.  

It doesn't work.  

It goes unspoken that Eren sleeps in Levi's bed at night and sets camp in his bedroom throughout the day, coming outside only to visit the restroom. It doesn't bother Levi, if anything he is relieved to be seeing so little of the kid. Honestly.  

Levi, in turn, sleeps in his office or on the couch in the living room at times.  

He wakes before the child does, every morning, goes to shower and then prepares breakfast of which he leaves a plate at his bedroom door for Eren to retrieve.  

He doesn't disrupt the kid. Does not seek contact with him whatsoever.    
Levi tells himself that he keeps his distance because he simply does not care for the boy, and at the core is just annoyed at being stuck with him.  

Having been the one that has taken him in and now being the one who can easily kick him out but isn't doing so, are facts Levi chooses to sweep under the carpet, leaving them there to grow lumpy and surely trip him over one day.  

Keeping distance from Eren has nothing to do with the fear of seeing himself in the child, of sympathizing with him, getting awed and ending up caring too much.  

Not one fucking bit.  

And keeping him is just a way to repent for having gotten Eren in this mess in the first place. After all, though he's incapable of getting rid of the stains which by now have seeped deeply into the skin of his palms, Levi refuses to have his hands drenched in the blood of a child.  

 

* * *

 

 

          A   f e w   t h i n g s   a b o u t   E r e n   g e t   r e v e a l e d   for Levi to witness in the following two weeks of living together with him. Quirks and habits, preferences and dislikes slowly simmering to the surface.  

Though only when he looks closely enough.  

One of those things Levi finds out about the child is that he surprisingly enough loathes greasy foods. Whereas the man had initially believed for Eren to crave fattening meals, going by the emaciated state of his body, the opposite seems to be the case.  

But the young boy explains his reasoning, breaking the silence for mere seconds before abruptly turning on his heels and retreating to Levi's bedroom.  

          "I was only ever fed cheap, fattening foods to keep me going. Fruits and vegetables were too expensive."  

Levi, before realizing it himself, starts adjusting the purchase of groceries from that day on. Turns out Eren likes strawberries enough to grow tearful over a plate of them.  

Another aspect the man finds out is that Eren revels in being able to bathe daily. He as well seems dearly fond of the vanilla scented children's shampoo -Levi's bought for him on a whim- going by how quickly he manages to empty the bottle, not to mention the bathroom smelling like a freshly baked cake every time he's used it.  

When Levi assures him with a grunt he can bathe twice a day if he so desires, Eren seems to claim the tub as his own and Levi loses another room in the house for the better part of most days.  

He should mind more than he does.  

Rather, Levi grows distracted by how shiny Eren's unruly hair is becoming and catches himself wondering how soft it actually is. The desire to stroke his fingers through chocolate strands causes him to feel uneasy.  

A less positive part of Eren's mind seems to be his subconscious which plagues him with night terrors the moment he dares to fall asleep.  

On the fourth night Eren spent at Levi's, the latter had been woken by a scream at three twenty AM sharp. He'd made quick work of retrieving one of his handguns and quietly heading towards his bedroom from where the voice had come.  

However, such as Levi had expected, he only witnessed Eren curled into a ball on the bed when glancing inside. The child had been sobbing, body shaking, the whole of him tiny in the center of Levi's double bed.  

With Eren's back having faced him, Levi had left without making his presence known. The craving, the natural need to be soothed, to receive comfort had been apparent in the child and Levi had willingly disregarded it.    
After all, they hadn't known each other whatsoever. After all, the boy needed -still needs- the embrace and support of a mother or father, not a criminal with acts of disgrace smeared on his hands.  

Levi never mentioned that night to Eren, nor did he offer a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen to his every ache and woe.  

Many moments throughout the days are spent pondering about Eren to such degree Levi loses himself in thought which, before the boy and after his own childhood, had not happened once. Sure, he is a thoughtful creature, spending more time in his head than he ever does outside of it, but his consciousness has been a familiar place for a long time. He knows every room and what lies within them and is confident in which doors to keep closed for the sake of his conscience which, contrarily, isn't as easily kept under control.  

However, he gets lost regularly when Eren enters his brain and if he would be a lesser man he'd grow worried about this.    
Though, his degree in man might be reducing soon for he begins to catch himself at random times throughout days and nights jolting from day dreaming and realizing he spent an hour staring at a wall.  

He zones out, often.  

It bothers Levi, how eager his heart seems to be to care for another human being, a stranger no less. And that is without mentioning the boy's delicate age which leaves him dearly vulnerable and open to influence, to change, possibly; to hurt.    
To the man it has slight similarity to, for example, being forced to hold a newborn baby. The easiness in which he might destroy its life frightens him. The threat of responsibility unnerves him as he's always lived, worked and fought for himself. Being in charge of another being, their brain, lungs and heart in the palms of his hands...  

It'd be so easy to mess up, squeeze too hard or hold too loosely and lose his grip on them.  

What bothers Levi even more in these rainy, atmospheric, near-maudlin nights is having to listen to the muffled sobbing coming from his bedroom down the hall.  

Eren cries every night. Levi can hear him, and when he doesn't he can still tell next morning when faced with the red puffiness of the child's eyes that'll stare up at him; dead tired.  

Levi sighs softly, strokes a hand over his face as he fails to focus on the paperwork spread across his desk in front of him.  

He can't concentrate, hasn't been able to sleep properly for the past handful of nights.  

It is not related to his muscles, which ache at the lack of having been able to rest in a comfortable bed rather than a lumpy sofa or hard desk chair. Neither has it to do with how loud Eren actually cries and how his whines reach into Levi's ears through open doorways down the length of the hall easily.  

Rather, it has all to do with a filthy sense of guilt, his conscience feeling tainted. Not because he kills and tortures human beings for a living -which he's adjusted to over the past eight years- but because he is willingly ignoring the cries of a child in pain. A pain cunningly similar to that of his own experienced when he himself had been a young boy.  

But his fear rules all, keeps him chained to what he has taught himself to be law; egoism. Nevertheless, as a form of self-induced punishment, he fails to catch any rest and is left to force away the urge to reach out, hoping it'll wither away. Eventually.

* * *

 

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	6. Part 5

**PART 5.**

 

          O n   t h e   t w e n t y - s e v e n t h   m o r n i n g   routine is broken.  

Levi pauses during preparing breakfast when hearing an unfamiliar sound behind him. He knows what it is, though that doesn't mean he's personally experienced it before.  

The man stands in a sunlit kitchen, rays warming his skin and itching his eyes when he lifts his chin to face the window, and of course he's been here before, plenty of times. Yet, it is the soft ' _pat_ _pat_ ' sound of bare feet walking over tiles, that urges him to stir.  

The footsteps behind him pause simultaneously, as if startled by Levi's abrupt halt. For a moment the man indulges a foolish assumption; that Eren surely has sleepwalked into this room. After all, never before has the kid shown himself before dusk settles upon the world with the soothing promise of solidarity. The reasoning behind which might be related to how during late hours people tend to retreat inside; preparing for bed and leaving any responsibilities for the morning to come.  

So, taking that into consideration, Levi asks himself why Eren would ever willingly show up at this time of day.  

He glances over his shoulder, watches the boy straighten his posture as if the man's gaze physically pulled him up by the scruff of his neck, shaking his body rigid. Eren's eyes are bright, astonishingly so, and Levi doesn't know whether this is because of the lighting, the bruises having faded from his features or because his demeanor has broken its streak of numbness, possibly woken up into naive innocence anew.  

          "Morning." The man murmurs stiffly.  

Eren blinks, pulls back his shoulders when they threaten to hunch and nods with a blush. His wide gaze flickers away towards the kitchen island and when Levi doesn't comment any further he apparently finds the courage within himself to take a seat at it.  

The man hides his frown and turns his head to once more focus on the task at hand.  

The silence is awkward. And Levi doesn't believe in those, or  _didn't_  use to.  

After all, it is you yourself who decides whether to embrace or despise the lack of conversation when in company. Never has he felt pressured to start conversation nor does he often feel like sharing his own thoughts; fonder of hearing the other out and leave with as much information as possible to stack away in his brain. Possibly to use as blackmail material to his benefit.  

Nothing but torture works nearly as well as silence to have people grow nervous and thus eager to yap. Everyone wants to fill in the gap, voice out whatever, often bypassing the brain-to-mouth filter altogether.   
It is one hell of a talent to use to one's advantage and Levi's abused the easiness in which he is capable of maintaining silence plenty of times before.  

But again, this fucking kid…  

Levi thins his lips, bites his tongue as his throat works around a question it wants projected towards the child and he jolts -embarrassingly- when two slices of bread pop noisily from the toaster to his right.  

This is  _ridiculous_.  

          "How did you sleep?" Levi asks in a grumpy tone, against his own will, part of him scolding himself for having initiated conversation. Another part of him upset at him acting like a petulant child about this.  

And then he goes on to kick himself for having asked such a stupid question. It isn't dumb because he undoubtedly knows the answer to it, but it is because he's now forced Eren to recall his night and thus his nightmares.  

No reply comes and after Levi has gingerly plucked the crispy slices of bread from the toaster, laying them on two porcelain plates, he glances over his shoulder once more.  

Eren's eyebrows twitch up, surprised at being caught staring, and he quickly dips his chin to his chest, looking down. His long bangs do little to hide the flush on his cheekbones.  

          "Fine." The boy lies shamelessly, not even trying to sound genuine, apparently not caring whether or not Levi will end up believing him.  

The man hums, no intonation within the sound, and proceeds to dress the toasts with toppings.  

Eren waits patiently and doesn't look up when Levi slides his plate of breakfast over the marble top towards him. He does dig in, however, and Levi thinks he can spot softer edges to the child's jaws and chin as they move and shift whilst chewing. At last there's some fat showing on the kid's bones.  

Rather than join the boy with sitting at the kitchen island, Levi options to stay standing, leaning his elbows upon its surface, posture slightly hunched. He toggles through his phone whilst taking small bites from his breakfast and gets more and more annoyed with himself for being incapable of focusing on reading his emails because he's too enwrapped in observing Eren from his peripheral vision.  

At various moments in the following handful of minutes Levi can hear Eren inhale, as if readying his lungs for a speech, before he ceases the plan and resumes eating.  

The man's skin crawls with premonition and his cowardice nature -dressed in a more acceptable and preferred disguise named ' _selfishness_ '- urges him to flee this kitchen before the kid starts pouring out his life story all over the space in between them, closing the gap with empathy and powerlessness.  

However, he's too late.  

The clank when Eren places his fork onto the empty dinner plate is gentle and quiet, though carries that definite note to it. A tone similar to a door being slammed shut or a gun being fired. The boy's finished his breakfast and apparently decided, resolutely, to ignite interaction.  

          "Uhm,-" He begins, voice breaking halfway through. Eren scrapes his throat, apparently awaits Levi's acknowledgement of his existence with not much patience.  

Levi clenches his jaws, putting effort into shutting up his thoughts which are shouting at him, warning him the boy is trying to get under his skin, trying to bond, telling him to grab his cup of coffee and for the love of god flee the scene.  

Looking up through his raven bangs as he remains hunched over his phone on the marble surface hasn't to do with being careless enough to allow the kid a chance to try and get closer to him. After all, he's just a damn kid, it's not like Eren is going to perform top notch mind games with him and manipulate Levi into changing his testament so the kid will be the only one to inherit his wealth.  

          ' _Why are you scared of a child, Levi?_ ' is a question he prefers not to reply to, though he is aware the answer rests somewhere in the back of his subconscious, heavily and threateningly.  

          "What?" Levi only just so manages to not snarl and instead reduce his voice to a less aggressive growl.  

Eren hesitates. His eyes are so large Levi finally starts to understand where the saying of one being able to drown in another's eyes has come from. In the morning light they are more green than blue, resembling an emerald; polished and treasured.  

The boy takes a few breaths and finally words stumble from his cupid-bow lips.  

          "And how- how did you sleep, Mr. Levi?"  

It feels like, in any other normal situation, that by now the boy should've earned the right to address Levi by name alone, absent of any title. However, the man prefers it like it is, though he's not sure whether this is because he's fond of being superior or because it ensures a distance between both of their persons.  

His immediate reply chimes in his head; ' _that's none of your business_ ' bouncing off the walls of his skull. However, for the sake of not being a complete dick, Levi rearranges his vocabulary and adjusts it accordingly to befit a young, insecure boy.  

          "Fine."  

          ' _Nailed it._ ' He clacks his tongue, frowning at himself before straightening up, mumbling a ' _Have to_ _go now_ ' and exiting the kitchen with haste nudging him in the back.    

* * *

                                                         

          L a s t   w e e k ' s   a w k w a r d n e s s   a s i d e ,   Eren apparently possesses a braveness within himself for he starts reaching out towards Levi even though the man threatens to hurt him if he does. Though, Levi always seems to fail to put those thoughts into words, optioning instead to try and communicate them through a variety of glares. Eren, either bold or dumb, does not acknowledge Levi's intimidating nature.  

Apparently, having initiated conversation with the boy has planted a seed in the kid's brain and it has already begun to sprout. Whereas Levi's intention had been to put an end to the silence, Eren may have figured it to have been a reward for having showed up at breakfast. 

It's a cliché case of give an inch and they take a mile. Eren is greedy and exceptionally brave with a goal set before his large, green eyes. Whatever outcome the kid is desiring is unknown to Levi. Nevertheless, he prefers not to feed any ideas or plots by being receptive or appearing welcoming to the boy.  

Levi is only marginally confused.  

Eren surely isn't seeking contact with him for the simplest reason one would expect. It isn't Levi the boy wants to be with, rather he's optioned for the lesser of two evils and thus when given the decision between spending time in a room drenched in the eerie shadows of his past or with a man who will leave him to himself, the decision had probably come to him swiftly. The assassin had created an entrance that one morning by simply acknowledging the child as well as feigning an interest in asking him a question. And as he'd exited, thinking none of it, he'd left that door ajar for Eren to peek inside and eventually sneak up on him.  

Nonetheless, Eren does not trust Levi, which shows in how he tends to hunch -protecting his neck with shoulders- whenever the man passes him by too closely. It proves to the man that Eren is indeed on edge when around him, but the bedroom -somehow- has enough of a heinous atmosphere to make him risk his skin around an unknown and potentially dangerous man.  

At times Levi wants to tell Eren, assure him, that he won't eat him and he can certainly stop acting like a rabbit around a fox. But he doubts the wording of it will soothe the child and only cause him to suspect the man of being at least a quarter cannibal.  

It worries Levi that, though he does not desire to literally eat Eren, a longing to consume the boy still lingers around his edges.   
But what other way is there? What exactly is it he wants from Eren? Why does the boy get under his skin this much, this easily?  

A loud shatter makes him jolt from his thoughts and he swiftly gets up from the couch, making way towards the kitchen from which the sound had come.  

There's a very, very,  _very_  tiny part of Levi which fears -and has been for the past month- that someone will show up to take Eren away. Be it Nile's men or an actual family member with the kindest of intentions, Levi's stomach always manages to clench at the mere assumption of it.  

When he stands in the kitchen's doorway however, Levi can see Eren kneeled onto the floor, carefully picking up shards of porcelain with shaking hands. 

He's dropped an empty plate.  

          "I'll get it." Levi says dryly, not trusting this kid to not accidentally stab himself in the wrist and end up dying anyways.  

Eren tenses dramatically at hearing his voice and every inch of him freezes. Again, it reminds Levi of prey, being still in order to either hide or appear dead. And again, this observation awakens a heat in his stomach.  

Either his sense of empathy is twisted or he's beginning to suffer from heartburn.  

When Levi enters the room, squatting down next to the boy, the latter flinches though remains on the spot. Up close, the man can see how severely Eren is trembling and if he didn't know better he could swear hearing the child's heart beating madly.  

          "I'm very sorry." His voice is pathetically quiet and uncertain, wobbling with unshed tears.  

Levi frowns, assuming Eren has been through a similar situation before and had probably ended up with a beating.  

And, as is often the case, the very second Levi imagines another's hands on the boy's tanned skin, his empathy skyrockets.  

The tightness in his stomach dissolves and instead Levi's body steps into the background, allowing his mind to take over.  

          "It's fine." The man says, sounding a tad annoyed though this isn't because of the broken plate but it's because of him despising whomever has taken part in Eren's life to have shaped him into this frightened, insecure creature.  

It does not suit him. Eren is not a boy meant to live this small and meaninglessly. His eyes are too intense, his hair too wild, his skin too exotic to befit any human other than a strong-willed one.  

Eren still doesn't move, silent tears rolling down cheeks, dripping onto the floor.  

Levi resists the urge to sigh, knowing it'll only scare the boy more and instead carefully reaches to the shard still held in the kid's hand.  

          "It's okay, Eren."  

The boy flinches again when Levi carefully wraps his fingers around his tiny wrist. He does not trust the kid to not tumble into a fit of panic and stab him in the face with the crumbly porcelain.  

          "Let go." Levi's voice is exceptionally soft and the gentle tone carries over for Eren carefully meets his gaze with his own. There follows a long pause and though Levi keeps his expression blank, he can see the boy shape opinions around him in that very moment anyways.  

Eren's eyes are glossy and vibrant, eyelids and nose red, lips pressed into the hint of a pained grimace.  

          "I can't." He says and Levi hides a grimace of his own at the meaning behind his words. Eren sniffles and his stare goes from wary to hopeful. As if he's witnessing an epiphany or meeting his knight in shining armor.  

Levi can tell the exact moment in which Eren opens up to him and he should pull away, leave the room or, hell, ship the kid to another country on a cargo boat. anything but bathing that seed he's accidentally planted within the boy in the bright light of understanding, anything but pour words onto it that'll feed the root of their relationship.  

He knows this. Though still ends up following a sensation within him, for the first time uncertain of it being his gut or his instinct.  

          "You can." Levi assures. His grip is loose, gentle, around the boy's wrist as his other hand reaches out towards the shard, pinching it between fingers.  

          "I'll help."  

It is the wrong thing to say and Levi watches the boy's pupils shift until his eyes glaze over in a worship directed at Levi.  

The boy let's go of the porcelain in his hand, stares at Levi in awe as he retrieves the shard and pulls away.  

Levi ignores the boy's quiet gaze, ignores how he is no longer crying nor trembling nor flinching whenever he reaches out towards a shard near Eren.  

He picks up the biggest pieces, commands Eren to leave the room (which, surprisingly, he does) before sweeping every square inch of the kitchen's floor.  

He grows aware of how many parts he is actually able to find and retrieve. Enough to fit them back together and create a different version of what had been broken. Though, some parts are left useless, perhaps even hidden and though Levi does not plan to fix the plate itself, he's not so sure any longer when it comes to Eren.                       

* * *

                      

          T h e   n e x t   d a y   L e v i   t e l l s   E r e n   that he has a bunch of errands to run and jobs to do throughout the day. Eren, weirdly, seems not too fond of this news and though he is too shy to word them, Levi can tell there's various questions swirling in the back of the kid's throat.  

He ignores this, telling himself the boy has no right to be nosy about his private affairs. Curiosity, to Levi, feels too close to a desire to practice control. Though the man knows this is likely not the case with a child, he is still wary enough to suspect Eren from wanting to figure out Levi's plans in order to try and have them adjusted to his own preferences.  

It's a preposterous thought, but he can't help suspecting anything and anyone.  _Questioning_  anything and anyone. Even a twelve-year-old boy.  

It makes him wonder what it is like, to be normal. What it is like to go about life without overthinking the smallest of things. Trusting people, not feeling naked without a weapon on your body, not having your heart pound and skin grow tight when trying to face yourself with your more gentle and receptive emotions. Emotions which all of your life have been perceived as weaknesses for others to abuse.  

What would peace of mind be like?  

The wondering is useless, after all, he is a grown adult. He has been set in his ways for far too long.  

Levi tells Eren he will return between the hours of midnight and dawn, resolutely disregarding the odd pleading hidden within blue-green irises when he leaves.      

* * *

                                                   

          I t ' s   h a l f   p a s t   o n e   A M   when Levi unlocks his front door and drags himself inside. He's tired, having spent most of the day in Erwin's company and going by how the man had been smirking smugly the entire time, Levi quickly figured out Erwin knows  _something_. Of course, he does, the prick, but no matter his eagerness to make Levi walk on eggshells he will not confront him with anything he knows unless he deems it necessary.  

If he knows about Eren though, Levi would suspect him of being at least a tad wary about his right-hand man taking care of a child who is known to their rivals.  

Eren can easily be considered as bait by Nile's men. But Levi as well as Erwin know that the assassin isn't at all likely to grow attached to anyone.   
Sure, his boss is aware that Levi does not kill women and children, but that has to do with honor and respect, not with sympathy and affection.  

Agitated that even now his boss is still nagging his mind, Levi locks the door behind him, toes off his shoes briskly and near-launches his jacket over the back of a chair when entering his office.  

The house is quiet and dark and Levi doesn't bother turning on any lights as the various windows allow the moon to cast enough of an illuminating glow in most of the rooms.  

As if his thoughts had sprouted spontaneous premonition just minutes ago, Levi notes when passing his bedroom that there is no Eren in sight.  

He glances left, the bathroom as well empty and so is his kitchen, he discovers when entering it.  

          ' _Shit._ ' His mind helpfully provides whilst every muscle in his body grows tight. And suddenly he isn't so sure any longer of Eren not being something that can be used against him.  

He doesn't want the kid to get hurt, not again, not because of Levi. His selfish nature is incredibly eager to rescue this kid from hurt if only to cleanse his own conscience. That is of course why.  

Still, his body reacts to the boy's absence far too dramatically to fit anywhere near Levi's reasoning. His mind asks him whether or not he truly is as selfish as he thinks he is. It asks him whether or not the fear that is causing his heart to clench and his throat to choke truly can be influenced only by him needing the child for reasons benefitting himself.  

Is it not because he enjoys the beauty of his eyes? The longing to see him smile? The eagerness to watch him grow into a strong, handsome man?  

Is it not because he revels in his ability to make a change? Perhaps, even, to reshape his own childhood and failures through guiding Eren to success and mystic happiness?  

And still so, does he desire these things for the sake of himself or for the boy who's chosen to show him the beginnings of fragile trust and affection?  

* * *

 

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	7. Part 6

**PART 6.**

 

          A s   u s u a l ,   L e v i ' s   m i n d   e n t e r t a i n s   a s s u m p t i o n s ,   as if intentionally urging the man into opening his eyes to anything he is desperately refusing to perceive.  

Eren is perfectly fine, and though this time he'd not come as close to a blunder as last time ( _when he had nearly buried the kid alive_ ) the thought alone has left him breathless. The ' _what if_ ' more telling than any passing of time could ever have.  

The dimmed lighting in the living room causes Eren's olive skin to glow warmly. In contrast to the gentle texture of flesh there's a violence to be witnessed in the muscles pulled taut, making his shoulders, even in sleep, hunch, and his body coil.  

The light from the muted television flickers across Eren's features which, though more relaxed than the rest of him, still betray underlying exhaustion.  

Regardless of the imperfect picture painted in front of him, Levi is left to perceive it in awe.  

There's a half empty cup of tea placed upon the coffee table. It's located next to the sofa on which the boy has curled himself.  

When placing his knuckles against the white porcelain, Levi finds out that the drink has gone cold quite some time ago. Naturally this means Eren, as well, has been sitting here or sleeping here for a great amount of time.  

Had he tried to stay up to await Levi's return? And if so; why would he have?  

Besides this unsettling thought, there is also the actuality of this child having used either the stove or water boiler to make himself tea to be taken into consideration. He could've burned the place down.  

Though, perhaps, he might be at an age considered appropriate to be using kitchen appliances at.  

Levi hasn't a clue.  

The mental image of Eren fumbling around in that particular room of the house is as disturbing as it is peculiarly charming.  

Levi exhales, stiffly, failing at getting rid of all of the pent-up tension within his lungs. By now he's gotten quite used to it. He's been on edge for years, after all.  

The man turns off the television, though leaves the lamp -which casts a soothing glow- placed on top of a nearby bookcase turned on. 

Levi only returns to the living room to lay a thick blanket over Eren's body and ends up staring at the kid for many minutes after.  

There is something appealing about him, something Levi has been seeing since the beginning and yet still fails to put a name to.   
Undoubtedly, it's something to do with his youth, the fragility of his body and the chaos of his mind. Eren is a child on the outside, though when looking farther one can tell he's been forced into growing up too quickly, too soon.  

This boy has not been given what is every child's right, instead forced into a world that has no place for routine, education, protection or affection.  

Levi is slowly but surely getting tired of his pondering over Eren. As always, he asks himself the same questions, similarity in each one of them, and ends up with no answer or explanation whatsoever.  

Eren stirs something within the man, beckons awake a slumbering part of him that is as unknown to Levi himself as it would be to any stranger he's passed by on the sidewalk. This part of him, the one he resolutely refuses to acknowledge, has the answers grasped in its filthy hands. Having it lured out would perhaps throw light onto the man's every wonder, but, Levi is not fond of the thought of releasing something inside of him which is so unknown.  

Peeling his eyes off of the sleeping boy, Levi retreats to his bedroom and ends up changing the sheets because they smell too much of the child.  

The bed is as comfortable as he remembers it to be and he is exhausted still.  

Nonetheless, Levi is left to stare at the ceiling above and listen to his own wailing mind which fails to shut up for even a second.  

By the time birds chirp outside and the crude glow from the sun peeks through blinds, Levi considers the possibility of Eren being more in control of Levi than the other way around.  

Whereas this thought should be preposterous, the man accepts he'd not be surprised were the child to have woken an obsession within him.                       

* * *

                              

 

          W h e n   L e v i   g e t s   u p   after barely two hours of sleep and walks into the living room with a cup of coffee, Eren is awake.  

Well, marginally so.  

His hair is a complete mess and his eyes, when they peer over the blanket he's wrapped securely around himself, are half-lid and endearingly hazed.   
He blinks heavily, slow and gentle like a pet feline greeting its owner when they come home to them.  

The boy's eyes squint and Levi wonders if he is smiling behind the blanket, but by the time Eren pulls down the fabric, his lips are shaped in neutral fashion.  

          "You're back." He says like it's an unusual aspect for Levi to return to his own house after having left it to run some errands.  

Levi frowns briefly before he sits down on the love-seat next to the sofa on which Eren is propped.  

          "Yes." The man stiffly says before sipping from his cup while he tries to figure out the logic behind Eren's words.  

          "I don't mind." Eren says before he blinks himself more awake, clearing his groggy mind. 

          "I mean, to sleep here. I don't- I mean, I wouldn't mind to swap places. Especially since I've been hogging your bed for so many weeks now."  

Levi raises an eyebrow at that, watching, intrigued, the skin on the boy's cheeks darken in a blush the longer he looks at him and allows the silence to stretch.  

          "You didn't burn down my kitchen making tea last night." The conversational talents Levi possesses are as well developed as his eagerness to put them to use in the first place. That is to say; meager.  

Yet, whether it's this child's mind or absolute daftness, Eren doesn't seem bothered or taken aback by his words.  

          "I would never, sir."  

Levi hums, ignores how Eren bravely tries to keep his eye. Surprisingly, it  _is_ the man who ends up averting his gaze first, uncomfortable with how the warmth in his stomach sinks lower within him. It grows heavier,  _hotter_.  

As their conversation comes to an abrupt and rather awkward stop, Eren sits up, stretching his legs from the blanket, revealing soft hued skin and tiny toes which spread as he uncoils himself. Levi catches himself following the movement, his eyes remaining locked onto the kid's knobby ankles until he's pulled them back up on the couch, hiding them underneath the blanket.  

Again, he is reminded of a feline, Eren's grace uncharacteristic for a lanky limbed boy his age. It confuses him that the child's body does not befit his prey-like demeanor.  

Disruptive thoughts intrude Levi's mind and he is more bothered by the fact that he has little control over his conscious self than he is by the actual subjects and images themselves.  

No less, these fantasies which he has not permitted entrance into awareness, are wrong by standard morals and even to Levi's. He's not a saint, obviously, yet his skin still crawls as his brain conjures up a future in which he keeps Eren as his. Laying claim over the child like one does over a lover.  

Levi hides a grimace behind the rim of his cup, observes Eren watching television for the greater part of the morning.  

And he questions his morals which feel as shaken as the trust he has in himself.         

* * *

                     

   

          R e g a r d l e s s   o f   h o w   a p p a r e n t   L e v i ' s   r e s t l e s s n e s s   i s ,   Eren seems to only be fueled by it, though surely subconsciously. 

Somehow Levi has laid bare a weakness, granting the boy to perceive him in a more subdued light and making him believe the man is more approachable than he had been before.   
Eren begins to lure Levi into conversations. His ' _whys_ ' come in dozens throughout the days, which he tends to spend in Levi's company as well.  

Levi only possesses few assumptions as to why Eren is putting so much effort into being around him.  

It no longer connects to earlier reasoning in which the child presumably preferred being around Levi over being inside his bedroom.  

No. This time around there is too much interaction. Too much eagerness and desperation thickening the words on Eren's tongue.   
His sentences weigh heavy with meaning and Levi's wariness grows tired of continuously paying attention to anything going on between the two of them.  

Showing unwillingness to bond in any shape or form does not deter the boy. Levi glares, sneers, his replies clipped and moods sour. All to no avail.  

          "Why do you pour the milk after the cereal?"  

Levi stirs, looking at the boy across of him, an eyebrow raised in sarcastic wonder. The shit this brat comes up with to keep interacting with Levi is ridiculous.  

          "It's measurement related." Levi replies dryly.  

          "Can you expl-" 

           "No."  

Eren's mouth snaps shut. He blinks once before relaxing in his chair and nodding.  

          "Okay." The boy says, his voice so unbothered it actually irks Levi.  

There's no compensation. He suffers the tedious company of a child, has to listen to empty remarks and gets nothing in return for it. Except for a possible premature aneurysm.  

From that day on, Eren no longer pours his milk before he does his cereal. Levi pretends not to notice.     

* * *

                                       

   

          F o r   t h e   s l i v e r s   o f   p e r s o n a l i t y   E r e n   i s   s h o w i n g ,   there's still plenty of moments in which he relapses.  

Levi tells himself he's not kept count on how long ago he's taken Eren into his home. Though, when he has this thought, the back of his mind will mock him with the exact number of weeks, days even.  

So, pride aside, taking into consideration that Eren has been living with Levi for over three months now, his progress is still admirable. Not to mention, the reasoning behind why the kid wants to spend time with him makes a little more sense as he’s been alone with Levi for that amount of time. 

Perhaps this is why it annoys Levi to watch the boy stumble back onto memory-lane; timid nature overwhelming him as much as it does Eren himself.  

There's certain triggers which cause the child to draw back into his shell. For example, every time Levi gives him anything.  

Moments in the past, in which Levi had brought him some educational books, clothes or even had bought him disgustingly overpriced ice cream ( _a treat Eren is incredibly fond of_ ) had brought great stress upon the kid.  

No matter how long they've known each other, no matter how passive Levi acts around him, Eren will tense the moment he is shown or given anything one might expect something in return for.   
In these moments Eren grows frightened, terribly subdued and meek. And he is undeserving of being rendered to such low degrees.  

He is a twelve-year-old boy. He should be wired to rebel, to take risks for the sake of curiosity, to try and fail and try again just to figure out himself and whatever future it might be he desires to pursue.  

He should be thriving and shaping opinions, act on them eventually.  

Instead, though some of those traits have been shyly peeking from within the boy, he reminds Levi of a beaten puppy. A useless, powerless, young thing who's gotten stuck with a complete stranger who, in turn, could very well end up abusing him like so many had before him.  

          ' _I don't want anything in return._ ' Is a sentence Levi's spoken to the boy various times in their short past together.  

And it never fails to anger him every time he has to repeat those words to this boy so visibly robbed from his future self. His identity is forever changed and never will Eren become the man he would've been had he had a different childhood.  

Whether or not it'll still end him up in a better place is unknown to anyone and everyone.  

Still, Levi fears -silently- that Eren will grow up into a cold, emotionless man who can never manage to curl his lips into a smile if there's no intoxicating substances involved. Like Levi.   

It'd be shameful and pathetic were he to grow up and find similarities in his personality and Levi’s.  

Levi still hasn't figured out the reason of his worries when it comes to Eren. Does he care because he believes rescuing this child will somehow influence his own past, magically fix his own failed self? Or does he care genuinely, not wanting another child forced into a shell of what they could've been?  

What is the difference? Perhaps nothing.  

Either way Levi realizes, as he inhales deeply and curses the upcoming migraine, that he does in fact  _care_.              

* * *

                       

   

          L e v i   f a i l s   t o   c a t c h   s l e e p   one particular night. It's nothing new, of course, though the sight he catches when passing the living room on his way to fetch a glass of water, is.  

          "You're still up?" Levi asks, then grimaces when Eren jolts at his voice. However, those knobby shoulders quickly relax when he glances over one of them at the man.  

Eren nods, then focuses his gaze back onto the window in front of which he is standing.  

          "I couldn't sleep." He explains and Levi hums, walking farther into the living room at a leisure pace. 

          "How about you?"  

Levi comes to a halt next to Eren, impressed the kid has yet to stutter once, and peers through the glass into the darkness outside.  

          "Same."  

Eren isn't surprised by that answer. The both of them, by now, familiar with the other's hectic sleeping patterns even though they do not share a bed, or room for that matter.  

          "I had a nightmare." The boy says and once more Levi is slightly taken aback by the kid's urgency, his greed to share.  

Eren glances at Levi briefly before he proceeds to shift his weight subtly. The man, ever observant, notes how the kid has placed himself an inch closer to him.  

And still, proximity increased, Eren's body remains relaxed. There's little to no fear left, not a glimmer of suspiciousness or trepidation to be seen, and by now Levi can almost accept taking peace with sharing his life with the child. For now. 

Levi wonders how long it has been like this. The changes happened subtly. Though there had been telling moments in which he'd witnessed something within Eren click, he hadn't known they are this far ahead already.  

Perhaps the atmosphere is what has opened Levi's eyes a tad wider this particular night. The sound of rain ticking against the window in front of them and the soft, gloomy light which barely lifts the darkness surrounding them, somehow warms Levi.  

His walls begin to crack and his hackles settle.  

          "I didn't have a nightmare for five nights. They've been less intense, not as present as before, since… I guess a few weeks ago. But-" Eren cuts himself off and Levi watches how he presses his lips together.  

          "It's worse that way, isn't it? When they come back after a while." Levi states more so than asks.  

Eren is surprised at Levi having spoken a sentence consisting of more than three and a half words. Levi can tell by how his mouth falls agape and eyes widen.  

For the first time since he can remember, Levi actually  _wants_  to have a conversation. He blames the lack of sleep and the melancholic setting, ignores the truth effortlessly this time.  

          "You're afraid the pattern will pick up again from this point on. That the routine will begin anew and that this horror will haunt you every night again like before." Levi murmurs, staring back out the window and Eren nods, eyes fluttering as he looks away, his jaws shifting as he clenches his teeth.  

          "It won't." Levi assures softly.  

          "I sometimes… Sometimes I think it will always be like this. That I'll always have these nightmares and these memories, day in day out. And nothing will ever get better." Eren admits and the confession hurts Levi somewhere deep inside of him. He feels how his throat thickens, his hands itching to hurt whomever has hurt Eren. Or perhaps he is itching to soothe the child.  

The thoughts make him tense.  

Levi knows Eren craves to talk, to tell someone what is going on in his mind. His skull must have been ready to burst for months if not years by now, crowded to the brim with memories which fail to discover an outlet anywhere but through vocalization.  

 _Of course_ , he wants to talk,  _needs_  to talk, and for once Levi accepts this. He goes as far as gingerly nudging his shoulder against Eren's, tilting his chin towards the sofa to their left.  

Wordlessly they both sit down on it, Eren flushed and a tad more on edge than before.  

          "You are here now." Levi says, staring at his own hands which dangle, folded, between spread knees. Eren glances at him again. It takes him a little moment to recall his own words and make sense of Levi's addition to them.  

Once he does though, Levi notices him relax in the corner of his eye.  

          "I am." He agrees quietly, pulling his legs up to his chest before wrapping his blanket around himself.  

The bundle of youthful charm warms the man even more. Nonetheless, even when this mellow, a part of Levi is warning him that this situation is too emotionally charged. Too intimate, too  _revealing_.  

Yet, still...  

          "You are safe," Levi murmurs, hesitates and then adds "Eren."  

When their eyes meet, Levi feels as if this child is picking him apart on the spot. He is clawing his way deeper and he fears Eren will succeed in reading him, sooner or later. That he will figure Levi out before the man can do so himself. That Eren will see more than meets the eye and whether he'd perceive the good or the bad within Levi, it'll mess them both up.  

The boy is relentless. Moreover, greedy, determined, and there's a passion somewhere deep down that seems to grow along with the hope Levi has planted inside of him.  

Eren seems to become incredibly fond of Levi. Slowly but steadily and the man wonders if this worship will ever decrease in intensity.  

He doubts it.  

Levi goes as far as assuming it is too late by now to put a stop to Eren's feelings regarding him. They're already claiming.  

Perhaps it is proven by the softness within his bright eyes and around the curves of his lips.  

And the ' _perhaps_ ' ignites into a ' _definitely_ ' when Levi witnesses, for the first time, the beginnings of a smile curl around the boy's spoken words.  

          "I am."

* * *

 

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	8. Part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a part in this chapter where Levi ponders about how people deal with trauma and I just wanted to say that though Levi's outlooks are negative when it comes to this (as in, you just live with it and suffer) are not something I stand behind.
> 
> Know that if you've gone through horrible things and are still struggling to this day, you CAN in fact work on it and live happily without it tainting your life.
> 
> Levi's a bit of a negative Sally in this fic ;)

**PART 7.**

 

          L e v i ' s   n e v e r   l o o k e d   a t   a   c h i l d   like he looks at Eren.  

His gaze often lingers on the boy, particularly on his lips, legs, feet and -especially- the nape of his slender neck.  

And as Eren grows more comfortable around the man, his body moves freely, aloof and unaware of eyes nipping away at his skin.  

Levi had pitied the child, back then. He'd related to him to such a degree he'd made himself believe that taking the child home with him was the most humane thing to do right then and there.  

Yet, that had been before Levi had discovered this peculiar side of himself. A chunk of him that had been hiding forever and somehow had been woken from its slumber simply by having Eren stroll around the house, attractive and vulnerable and _unaware_.  

Levi wonders whether this hunger within himself resembles a desire to hunt such as is found within, for example, dogs; chasing those who run, those who express their submissive nature and are undoubtedly the weaker ones.  

The more Eren opens up to him, the more Levi's muscles tense and his attention is drawn to him. Perhaps he'd even chase him were he to ever flee. Not to hurt him, god forbid, but to make sure the boy remains his and his alone.  

The word 'pedophile' rings in his mind whilst he stares lazily at the nape of Eren's neck as he is hunched over a book in his lap.  

For two foolish seconds Levi considers grasping the chestnut strands of hair resting on his nape, twirl them around his fingers before splaying his hand across the hot skin beneath.  

The boy would freak out. Of course. And so would Levi.  

It doesn't matter that the man has never experienced similar emotions towards any other kid ever in his life. The fact is that he is now. He is looking at Eren and seeing more than just a child.  

Recalling the explicit dreams he's been having on and off for the past month, cause Levi's stomach to churn.   
Disgust prevents him from relaxing in Eren's presence and though he despises himself for it, Levi is incapable of getting rid of the boy.  

He'd told Eren a while ago that he is safe, here with him. But, that might have been a lie after all.  

Eren is unbothered. He's evolved greatly in the past weeks and by now he is as comfortable around Levi as a distant family member would be.  

It crosses his thoughts that he should be looking around for an orphanage or maybe even an overseas friend to take Eren from his hands.    
But, ironically, he believes Eren will nowhere be as safe as he is here with him.  

Self-control is a talent Levi thinks he's mastered and he uses this as an excuse every time he feels the urge to touch Eren innocently or think about him inappropriately late at night.  

It is his own choice whether to act upon these appalling desires. He refuses to follow his instinct, or his gut, instead trusting on his conscience to keep him from sinking any lower than he already has.  

But, the more he looks at Eren, the more Eren seems to relax. The more he talks to him, the more time Eren wants to spend with him.  

And, on one particular sunny afternoon spent drinking iced tea in the middle of their garden on warm grass, when Levi blurts that Eren's eyes are beautifully bright, Eren bares his little teeth in a cheek-dimpling smile.  

The sight burns into the man's retina, goes as far as branding itself in the front of his mind and Levi is fucked until the day he dies.  

* * *

                                                          

          W h e r e a s   a d u l t s   l e a r n   t h r o u g h o u t   t i m e   how to hide the weaknesses left by their pasts, children like Eren have yet to be taught by experience how to give everything that's happened to them a place in their mind.  

Levi asks himself how far ahead Eren might be regarding this. Has he managed to at least clear some space by now? Has he been able to lock certain memories and trauma in different chambers inside of his brain, and with doing so has he made some room that allows him to function and carry on?  

The boy is brave. Levi watches him uncoil, the first steps to shedding this stained layer he's been wearing for far too long. And he believes he will do just so, the hope and determination in his vibrant eyes tells him that much.  

However still. It'll never be rid of completely. He has wounds that have penetrated far deeper than just his skin.  

People never fully heal from anything even close to what Eren's been through.   
You learn to handle it, by living in denial, by drowning the voices of your past in recreational drugs or mischievous self-told lies. Or perhaps by being selfish, cruel even.  

None of this means you've accepted your past though.  

Rather, you've found your poison of choice. One severe enough to bite away the toxic within, though never fully replace it. It's a never ending battle between two occupants eager to off you.  

Levi experiences morbid curiosity towards whichever path Eren might choose to follow as he grows older.  

He himself has been turning corners and has walked enough miles to have roads turn into a maze; in the middle of it a knot of memory lanes impossible to ever untangle.   
At times Levi forgets. Other times he intentionally tortures himself with any images gaining the upper hand at that moment. Not to feel sorry for himself, not to try and reshape them, but to punish himself for having become the man he is today. For not having gotten over it.  

Perhaps it's true that most others would not end up any better with a similar past to Levi's. However, Levi isn't 'most others' and had believed for a dearly long time he could swim to the surface whereas others are left behind to drown.  

Another self-told lie, apparently, if the pressure on his chest and choking hold on his surroundings is anything to go by. He's been drowning for a long time now.  

Levi wonders if Eren will manage. If he will escape himself and whether he will come out of it sour or bitter.  

          ' _Or maybe sweet?_ '  

Levi asks himself this as he watches full lips work around a spoonful of ice cream. He snarls.  

          ' _Impossible_.'          

* * *

                                         

          T h e   o t h e r   s h o e   d r o p s   when Levi declines an assignment five states across the country. The reason for this is because Levi is not fond of the idea of spending a week on the job, a four-hour flight from where Eren will be left at home.  

Erwin, of course, immediately catches on and deadpans to Levi he does not believe him one bit when he explains he just ' _doesn't feel like doing the job_ '.  

And this is probably the justification needed for the current situation.  

Levi blinks, dumbfounded, as he walks into his living room at two in the morning. He's returned from a local job which he's successfully completed and his spirit is exhausted with the stress that a killing brings with it.  

Blood still lingers within his nostrils, the scent almost heady.  

          "Erwin." Levi speaks, stiff and confused. His body tenses at seeing his boss in the middle of his own, dim living room, flicking through a book meant to teach math to children aged eight and up.  

          "Good night, Levi. How did it go?"  

          "Fine."  

The tall man hums, closing the book and placing it on the coffee table next to the portable gaming console Levi had bought Eren not five days prior.  

          "Your contract states you have no children." Levi, though severely on edge, is pleased to find his boss getting straight to the point rather than prolong the agony of being caught red handed.  

          "I don't." It is in fact half-truth when considering blood and genes. The shorter man meets Erwin's eye, intentionally, before continuing. "It's my nephew's."  

          "You have a sibling?"  

Levi thinks about what kind of lie would not end up with him being bitten in the ass.  

          "He's going home soon." He assures, blatantly avoiding the question because he is certain Erwin already knows the truth.  

          "Considering your profession, do you not agree that having anyone under your roof puts them in danger?"  

          "You're under my roof." Levi replies in a petulant manner. Erwin smiles softly.  

          "I can take care of myself. Unlike a child."  

He feels his anger flare quickly and therefore options to flee the scene rather than try and maintain his cool façade which will crumble undoubtedly. Levi bites his tongue, exhales slowly and turns on his heels.  

          "I'm going to sleep. See yourself out." The threat of the situation has put him on edge, allowing him reason enough to grow hostile and speak rudely.   
The mere thought of his boss trying to rid Levi of the boy sends shivers down his spine. He's not gone through this months long emotional roller-coaster only to end up empty handed.  

He's finally come to terms, kind of, when considering Eren and thus Levi has grown more possessive over him than should be healthy.   

For the first time Levi has found something, someone, he actually  _likes_ , and he grasps on to this with both hands, greedy though frightened to find salvation from his own walls. Eren can help him with this. He already is.  

Erwin does leave and Levi is left settling on a chair in his office.  

Levi clacks his tongue, upset at Eren and more so himself for allowing himself to become attached enough to not only decline a job offer but as well go against Erwin, in a low key aggressive fashion no less.  

For Levi to neglect his profession whereas this usually is his number one priority, says far more than the warmth in his chest when he greets a groggy Eren for breakfast that following morning.  

* * *

                                            

          H e   c o n s i d e r s   t a k i n g   o n   t h e   a s s i g n m e n t ,   if only to assure himself Eren isn't as much of a problem as he thought him to be and thus there'd be no need to feel pressured to get rid of him, in any way possible.  

His brain hurts as it tries to decide between accepting he is fond of the boy and declining he likes him enough to put his boss, his career on second place.  

Being the stubborn, independent and cold man that he is, Levi does accept it in the end. Erwin is pleased, of course, and a new sense of trust all but shines out of his ass.  

The man tells Eren and to his surprise the boy is very upset over the news. Then again, perhaps Levi would not have been this taken aback, had he not spent the last weeks in denial of the apparent adoration within the child's eyes.  

          "Why?" He asks Levi for the umpteenth time that week.  

Levi pauses rinsing his plate and leers down at Eren who in turn is glaring up at him, lips all but pouting.  

          "Because." He answers and watches the boy roll his eyes dramatically. The disrespect that has come with having grown familiar and comfortable around the man should bother him more than it does.  

Instead Levi is left amused enough for it to overshadow the annoyance gnawing at him.  

          "Don't treat me like a child!" Eren says with hands curled into fists and Levi can tell the kid only  _just_  manages to stop himself from stomping the ground.  

          "Quit acting like one." Levi simply states, resuming doing the dishes and ignoring the stare which is trying to stab the ever-living daylight out of him.  

Eren scoffs.  

          "I act like this because you refuse to treat me like an equal! I want you to just be honest and stop disregarding me like I'm some kind of pet dog to you."  

Levi pauses at that, startled at the boy's little speech and the powerlessness in his voice. Sure, Eren had grown comfortable around him, but that doesn't mean he'd ever talked back to him like this.  

Perhaps he has a point but… well, Levi is still older and wiser and he'll be dammed before allowing a brat to preach him some relationship advice.  

Regardless, he still blurts an answer closer to the truth than he'd planned.  

          "It pays well and I need to make sure my boss keeps his trust in me or else I'll end up decapitated with my head displayed at the local square." Levi doubts Erwin would go that far, he's not tactless enough to enjoy such brutal humiliation of betrayers.  

Still, he would have him killed the moment Levi puts any of their men in danger.  

Rather than fall quiet or be taken aback by the candid description, Eren seems to consider Levi's reply.  

          "Why?"  

Levi closes his eyes, hiding the desire to roll them and with doing so; participating in brat-like behavior.  

          "Why what?"  

Eren opens a drawer and begins drying the cutlery Levi's left in the drying rack.  

          "Why would your boss not trust you?"  

Levi glances at Eren who places a fork in the drawer he's opened before moving to dry a spoon. And he questions himself over why Eren asks what he asks and how aware he is of what's going on regarding Levi's profession.  

More importantly; how is he to reply?  

          "He knows about you." The man says. Eren pauses briefly before taking the plate Levi hands him.  

          "I don't understand." The child admits and his eyebrows scrunch together endearingly.  

          "It's dangerous to keep you here. For you, me, and anyone I work with. My boss wants me to prove to him that I choose my profession over a kept child."  

          "Why would I put us in danger?" Eren asks and his wide eyes look up at Levi. He looks legitimately worried and upset about the knowledge of him being a negative aspect in Levi's immediate environment.  

          "Because you could be used against me. Someone might kidnap you, ask me for important information regarding my boss and colleagues in return for your safety. Do you understand?"  

Eren nods hesitantly and then blushes, most likely having caught up with the hidden confession of Levi caring enough to become receptive of blackmail.  

          "So, I need to listen to my boss. He needs to know I would not betray him."  

          "I'm sorry." The boy murmurs and looks away. A quiet moment passes between them.  

He should reassure the boy it is not his fault. He's not the one who's gotten himself into this mess and he's not the one who's decided to be put in such a position. But he doesn't and he isn't sure why.  

After that conversation Eren behaves. He doesn't sulk or throw questions at the man's head with enough velocity to cause him a headache.   
Nonetheless, he looks surly on edge, thoughtful almost.  

The moment Levi confirms that the job does include quite the threat of getting killed in the process (something he should not have fucking said to a twelve-year-old kid) Eren clings to him like a duckling.  

He follows him around in the house like a hound on the hunt, so close to Levi's heel that on more than one occasion he bumps into the man who tends to take sharp corners and participate in impulsive changes of direction whenever his brain reminds him he needs to do something in a different room than the one he’s heading to. Not to mention he often will halt abruptly whenever his phone vibrates in the pocket of his trousers.  

Eren, bless the idiot, apologizes shyly every time, his face redder than a ripe tomato.  

Nonetheless, he doesn't stop sticking to the man.  

Levi is reminded of the rare times in the past when he'd visited a beach, ending up with sand between his toes for the remainder of the day (not to mention his shoes which would remain useless for weeks after). Fucking obnoxious and near impossible to get rid of.   
And just like the charm of a white sand beach, Eren is enjoyable enough to be forgiven for his ferocious, clingy nature.  

They both grow more restless the closer they get to the day of Levi's departure.  

When Levi leaves that day, duffel bag containing more ammo than it does clothes, Eren grasps the man by the sleeve.  

There's too much raw emotion bared within the boy and Levi's heart skips a beat at the thought of returning home to an empty house. He knows no person he trusts enough to have them watch over Eren. And he's too selfish to give up the kid, to shove him into a shelter somewhere.  

It occurs to him he is in fact willingly putting this boy in harm's way because he wants him for himself and himself only.  

Eren disrupts Levi's thoughts by wrapping both arms around his narrow waist. The man stirs, his breath lost and his heart stuttering itself to a brief halt.  

The embrace only lasts long enough for the boy to press his face into Levi's chest and then pull back not a second later. Eren tells the man to be careful.  

Levi leaves with a blank face and without another word.   

* * *

                                                      

          F o r   t h e   f i r s t   t i m e   i n   y e a r s   L e v i   g e t s   s h o t .  

It fucking hurts, is the first thought that crosses his mind. He's been shot and stabbed dozens of times before and by experience knows the wound isn't lethal. Still, he tends to forget the teeth grinding pain of it.  

Their gang's doctor is local to the area Levi's in and thus he is able to get patched up fairly quickly. In turn this allows him to take a flight home that very same day.  

The job, all in all has been a success but still Levi returns home with a heavy heart. And this is not because of what he's leaving behind, but because of what he might possibly come home to.  

Against all odds, Eren lies asleep in Levi's bed; unharmed, snoring lightly.  

Levi feels disgusting, his skin covered in dried sweat and there's still blood clinging to the fabric of his shirt, not to mention under his nails.  

The man quietly takes some clothes from his dresser before retreating into the bathroom.  

The shower soothes him and he spends at least half an hour under the spray. It feels good to be home and Levi notes when exiting into the hallway that the house smells of Eren. Nonetheless; smells of home.  

Perhaps the kid by now is part of his housing and territory.  

Levi walks inside of his bedroom, tip toeing and barely managing to not bump into furniture even though the room is illuminated sufficiently by the moon outside. He's exhausted and his sense of balance has left him some time ago on the plane back.  

When he goes to leave, spare blanket and pillow in hand, something grasps his wrist. Levi nearly shoots out of his skin, instincts still on edge after a week of gunfire and lethality.  

          "Levi, sir." Eren's voice is slurred and raspy with sleep and higher than Levi remembers it being. Even this different he is still so beautifully familiar.  

          "I'm home." Levi murmurs. "Go back to sleep, Eren."  

          "No." A beat. "Please."  

The fingers around his wrist grow tight and Eren even tugs his arm gently. Levi can't read Eren's face in the dark, but he can tell those green eyes are watching him with determination, more awake than his voice had made him believe.  

Exhaustion allows Levi to give in. Or maybe it is because in those few seconds where he got shot and had to judge the severity of the wound, Levi's mind had only been worrying about Eren.  

Survive for Eren. Go home to Eren. Live with Eren.  

Whatever it is, Levi lowers himself onto the bed and drops the extra pillow and blanket onto the floor. He crawls under the sheets next to Eren and the boy immediately plasters himself against his side.  

Levi, only for the sake of being positioned comfortable enough to not strain the wound beneath his ribs, curls an arm around the boy while staring up at the ceiling.  

He's so warm. So fucking warm and he falls asleep the moment Levi exhales and relaxes the hand resting on the kid's elbow. His soft breaths soothe Levi after a week of uncertainty. And the silkiness of his skin forces the man to brush his fingers over it repeatedly; slow and light.  

Levi catches sleep only half an hour after having crawled into bed.  

And that's a first in years.

* * *

 

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	9. Part 8

**PART 8.**

 

          L e v i   w a k e s   w i t h   a   s t a r t .  

The sharp pain speeds up his heartbeat and incidentally has him clear-minded within a second after opening his eyes.  

His gaze is met immediately by a startled looking Eren. Why the boy is sitting up, legs folded beneath him, body facing the man, is not known.   

For a moment Levi considers if Eren perhaps had accidentally prodded the wound in his side. But the blanket is still pulled up to Levi's shoulders and though he can feel the stickiness of blood seeping from his injury, the sheets aren't stained for Eren to possibly have discovered its existence.   

Maybe he'd jumped awake because of a nightmare, and the pain was the result of his movement rather than the other way around.  

Levi ignores Eren, his mood atrocious and the fear in the boy's eyes angers him. He should know by now not to be afraid of him.  

Of course, he can't blame the boy, he knows it is not his fault. Nonetheless, the behavior sits wrongly and along with exhaustion and physical pain it has urged him into a foul mood. Besides those facts, there’s also last night to consider. Having crawled into bed alongside this child is something Levi had mentally forbidden himself from doing from the start.   
And yet he’d yielded. Weak. 

Levi leaves the bedroom briskly, does not look back at the small child seated in the middle of his bed.  

Once showered and having placed a fresh band aid over the gunshot wound, Levi goes ahead and takes a few painkillers, hoping it'll soothe the injury as much as it will his headache.  

          "Are you hurt?"  

Levi jumps at Eren's voice behind him, having expected him to stay away after not only last night but as well this morning's hostile atmosphere.  

          "No." Levi says before resuming preparing a  _mug_  of coffee.  

At first Levi thinks it's a routine question. The kid's probably been worried to begin with and it's only to be expected he'd ask after Levi's wellbeing.   
It's not as flattering as it'd be for anyone else. The little act reminds Levi that he indeed has someone waiting for his return, like a loyal and trusting dog. It's suffocating at best.  

But a second later Levi feels the silence wear heavy and with the skin on his neck prickling because of prying eyes, he suspects Eren's seen something to have urged him to ask that question.  

Levi glances over his shoulder, quirks an eyebrow and sees Eren shrink in his seat only a tiny bit.  

          "Your body looks awkward."  

          "Thanks." Levi grumbles before considering whether or not he feels like stretching out to reach the overhead cabinet in order to retrieve some sugar. He doesn't, because Eren is still watching him like a hawk. A worried mother hawk.  

          "I mean," He takes time to reconsider his words before continuing and Levi acts as if he's not interested, or even listening in the first place. An act he will screw up within the following two seconds after Eren adds; "you  _move_  awkwardly."  

          "My muscles are stiff." Levi says and it's only half a lie. Why he just felt pressured into replying is beyond him. Though it's not at all uncommon when it is related to conversations with this curious child. After almost five months of living together, he guesses that telling white lies is the most he can do.  

Eren wouldn't be Eren would he not spend the rest of that day scrutinizing Levi.  

The game of acting normal and not showing the physical discomfort on his features every time he moves wrongly is tedious.   
Levi only desires to relax and rest and not have to put up with a kid dead-set on catching him making a misstep that'd betray the truth.  

The man can scold him but... they've come so far by now and he recalls the wide eyes he'd seen this morning. Eren still gets scared by Levi and thus the man can't afford to be hard on him.  

The fact that Eren is starting to wrap Levi around his finger unsettles the man and though he should be worried about getting exploited by Mr. Bambi Eyes, he rather spends time thinking- no,  _hoping_  Eren won't end up being a spoiled brat.  

Nonetheless, with such a past, this is unlikely.  

Neither of them dares mention last night and if it wasn't for the boy's permanent blush and Levi's determination to actually do anything  _but_  recall those events, he could've believed it hadn't happened at all.  

When Levi cooks dinner, his system numbed by painkillers, he moves around freely for Eren has finally granted him some alone time and has settled himself in the living room.  

Levi stretches to reach top shelfs, he bends over to retrieve vegetables from the refrigerator's drawer and proceeds pacing around doing this and that.  

He doesn't feel pain and after a little while he fails to spot the patch of blood that has seeped into the fabric of his shirt before Eren does.  

The moment Eren says that he is bleeding, his voice light around a gasp, Levi accepts defeat and turns off the stove before facing him.  

Eren's small face goes from accusing to hurt to worried in a mere three seconds and Levi vaguely thinks how well they could work together with such different personalities. Levi's unreadable and bland. Eren wears every moment of distress on his features and he is plain exciting.  

          "Are you okay, sir?"  

He doesn't say ' _why didn't you tell me?_ ' or ' _why did you lie to me?_ ' or even questions any details about how and when it had happened.  

No. Of fucking course Eren's first instinct urges him to make sure Levi is okay. Of course he is that much of a selfless brat.   
At this age he should be damn well lying every other minute, being worried only about himself and spending his time caring more about girls and video games than a man twice his age.  

But Eren wouldn't be Eren if doing so… And in the end, Levi’s the only thing he got in life right now. 

          "Yes, Eren." Levi says and allows the boy to read the genuineness in his eyes. After a few moments Eren nods to himself, likely having decided that yes, Levi  _is_  okay.  

And that's when his face goes from angelic to expressing poorly repressed rage.  

          "Why didn't you tell me?!" Eren asks, his tone parent-like, as if asking their teenage child how they'd justified the audacity to be going out and having actual fun on a Saturday night.  

Levi almost chuckles, though hides the beginnings of it by scraping his throat behind a fist. The brat's predictable. Or Levi's by now figured out how this child is wired.  

          "You're upset." Levi notes in a deadpan voice and an unaccusatory expression on his face.  

Eren looks insulted at that comment and Levi watches him take a breath, certainly preparing his little lungs to release an onslaught of accusations.  

          "That is why." The man explains as he crosses his arms.  

Whether he doesn't want Eren to be upset for his own convenience or because he knows the child doesn't deserve experiencing such emotions ever again, is unclear to his stubborn consciousness.  

The back of his mind though, knows.  

Surprisingly enough Eren manages to calm himself down, his embarrassment gaining the upper hand over his anger, his goal seems to be to impress Levi. To please him. To make him proud.  

          "Did you almost die?" Eren asks, blue-green eyes lingering on the stain in Levi's shirt.  

Technically Levi's been almost dying for the past decade. He's seen more guns pointed at him than he deems desirable and knows there's a generous bounty on his head.  

But Eren won't figure this out until he's older, and by then he'll have forgotten this conversation.  

          "No. It was a stray bullet." Big lie.  

The boy's eyes flick from the stain to Levi's face and back various times during the following moments.  

          "I'm sorry." Eren says and though it should be seen as a sensitive and kind gesture to apologize as much as the boy tends to do, Levi knows it comes from a past of living in fear. From years spent being blamed for the crimes practiced upon him, him being the victim always seen as the catalyst for anything that's been done to him. From nights in which he might've acted up and had been thoroughly punished for it. From having witnessed the eerie anger that can distort a man's features to resemble that of a self-made-up demon. And witnessing such appearances fade when apologizing for anything they might've blamed him for.  

It's a habit that's rooted and bloomed from spiteful memories, subconsciously or not.   

          "Don't apologize." Levi simply says, not caring if the kid is saying sorry for his own temper or for the fact that Levi had gotten hurt.  

Eren likely does not catch on to how the man means this regarding a permanent setting rather than a situational one. But that doesn't matter. He will learn.  

After all, Levi will guide him along the way.  

* * *

 

 

          T h a t   s a m e   n i g h t   t h e y ' r e   r e m i n d e d   of what had taken place on yesterday's.  

Eren demands Levi sleeps in bed because he's hurt and the man doesn't miss how he lingers in the doorway before wishing him a good night and retreating to the living room.  

          ' _He wants to sleep with me._ ' Levi figures out. ' _Literally, that is_ '.  

He doesn't give in and this probably takes part in the result of Eren waking more than once from nightmares with a sharp yelp. 

Considering they'd both slept like rocks the night prior, perhaps there's some good to be found in sharing the bed and each other's body heat.   
The physical contact assures them both that they are no longer alone and they both desire knowing this for different reasons. Levi refuses to dig deeper within himself and instead justifies the act of sharing a bed by him being too tired to kick Eren out of it anyways, so why not the hell accept his fate of being a grown man stuck with an affectionate idiot? Eren's reason though… well, Levi rather not imagine the deeper meaning to it.  

But, Levi wouldn't be Levi if he'd not sabotage himself and the relationship with Eren even if only a tad.  

Sharing a bed doesn't simply mean a better night's rest. It holds the threat of bonding, of growing incredibly attached to a point where one isn't able to catch sleep when not in the other's presence. Once you're there, you've gone too far.  

Once you're at that chapter in your life, and the easiness within love is confirmed, it is then that plot-twists shit all over your final pages.  

Levi, a man who has had many of his humble victorious parades shat on in the past, knows that growing close to Eren is the last thing he should be doing.  

But, evermore, again, his mind has a peculiar way of fighting itself continuously and with so Levi's opinions bend and knot and tangle during every waking moment he dares ponder.  

At times he isn't so sure anymore of what he wants. What he doesn't want. Or what he stands for.  

* * *

                                                        

          H i s t o r y   r e p e a t s   i t s e l f   a   m e r e   t w o   w e e k s   l a t e r .  

Levi wakes up in the middle of the night and it takes him a moment to figure out what exactly has woken him.  

The room is pitch black. While Levi stares into the darkness up at the ceiling, he focuses on his hearing.   
He can tell someone is in the room even though they don't make a single sound. It's a density in the space, the room fuller than it had been before. Invaded maybe, depending on the visitor.  

By the time the man's sight has adjusted to the dark he is able to recognize the small and shy stature that is Eren from the corner of his eye.   
The boy has been standing still for minutes and Levi can only imagine the mental discussions he is having with himself.  

Calling him over is an option. He's not opposed to having the memory of the boy's warm body and his own deep sleep repeated.  

But he shouldn't. Really. He should not indulge in that which could end up creating his downfall.  

Leaving the decision to Eren might take a while and Levi wonders which trait will outshine. Courage or coyness.   
Perhaps a few months ago Eren would have walked away, not deeming the risk of joining a grumpy assassin in bed worthy of a try.  

However, today, the child is stronger and far surer of himself and that's why -secretly- Levi isn't surprised to feel the mattress dip.  

Eren settles quietly, freezing when he accidentally bumps his knee against one of Levi's. The man doesn't move a muscle and remains quiet while the boy curls up into a ball, facing him.  

The secrecy of the act, the brave will of Eren, and the intimate atmosphere caused by being hidden in the dark all sink into Levi's gut and he grows ravenous immediately.  

That's why, boundaries shaken off, Levi wraps an arm around Eren and pulls him closer.  

A gasp falls from the boy's lips, as surprised by the embrace as Levi who'd acted simply on impulse; the desire to touch him too strong to resist with a half-asleep brain.  

When Eren manages to relax in the man's hold, he's bold enough to rest a small hand on the middle of Levi's chest and his fingers curl lightly into the fabric of his night-shirt.  

Eren inhales. Shudders. Swallows. And that's when he starts to sob.  

Levi had not considered the reason behind why Eren had decided to come into his bedroom. Perhaps his ego believed it had had to be related to the boy's crush on him. It's common to want to be physically close to the one you're interested in, surely.  

But that would not have had more meaning than the trembling truth bared within his arms right now. Than the boy being upset and deciding it is Levi he wants to be with in moments of vulnerable need. Which must mean that the man does soothe the boy even when turning cold shoulders and remaining tight lipped.  

Well, granted, Levi's been slacking off on keeping up his heartless image when it comes to Eren.  

The fist in Levi's shirt tightens its hold and Levi feels his stomach drop when Eren whines through clenched teeth and tugs at him in what seems to be a subconscious manner. Eren's heart apparently hurts enough for him to desire being close, to hold on to someone or just something, to almost aggressively shake whatever is in his surroundings because there's too much of a turmoil storming within every inch of his being.  

It's desperate.  

It's not just a weekly crying session. It's absolute fucking misery, grief and despair.  

And it actually manages to frighten Levi who has only witnessed such pain within himself and has never cared enough to empathize along with any other person suffering. Not to this breathtaking degree.  

          "Eren." Levi whispers and his throat feels thick. A sickening taste similar to that of bile resting on the back of his tongue. The agony within his arms disgusts him.   
It's because of the anger that tends to linger under the man's skin. The moments in which this rage is beckoned from within, it is all-consuming and never fails to have his stomach drop.  

The boy only cries louder when he says his name and the man has no choice but to roll onto his side -ignoring the soreness when resting his weight on the gunshot wound- and pull the small and quaking figure into his arms, against his chest.  

While he holds Eren who resumes crying loud and desperate, hiccups and high-pitched whines included, he tries to figure out what to do.  

Levi thinks of his own childhood. Of the nights he'd spend crying and hungry and afraid. What had he wanted back then? Back before he'd developed a cynic taste for loathing the world and his life in it.   
Back when he had still believed and hoped in the existence of love. The love of a mother's embrace, the love of a father's protection and sure enough, with this comes the answer.  

Affection and protection. That's it.  

So, Levi strokes the boy's hair, moves his other hand down and back up his spine, feeling the sharpness of shaking shoulder blades beneath the tips of his fingers.   

He murmurs to Eren that he is safe and that everything will be okay. His lips are so close to Eren's forehead that when pronouncing particular letters, they end up touching the skin in what feels like little pecks. Coy kisses anyone could get away with.  

This time, no matter the intimacy and the (otherwise perceived as being sappy) words falling from his lips, Levi does not grow nauseated.  

The only downside is the hold on his heart which tightens its grip and has Levi end up grieving along with this boy he no longer wants to avoid.  

The child writhes in pain and Levi pulls him closer.  

So much closer still.  

* * *

                                        

 

          M o n t h s   g o   b y   in which Levi grows calm and Eren grows personality.  

It occurs to him one day that Eren and him have now been living together for -very close to- a year. Though Levi prefers ignoring holidays and celebrations such as Christmas, New Year's Eve and even birthdays, he entertains the idea of buying cake next week on the date that will stamp 365 days of having known this kid.  

Not for his sake, of course, but for Eren's. The boy's been physically at peace for a year and during this time his mental instability has begun to even itself out, and that calls for a humble reward. Not to mention, how long has it actually been since the last time Eren's celebrated anything?  

Which reminds him they've probably missed the kid's birthday altogether.  

Levi halts abruptly in the middle of the grocery store he's at and takes a sharp left towards the refrigerated section.  

The expression on his face is that of a man on a mission as he scrutinizes the pastries displayed in front of him with a glare.  

After all, it's a dramatically important choice to make; deciding whether or not to go for strawberry cheesecake when there's tons of different picks.  

However, when recalling the first time he'd brought home strawberries only to have Eren grow emotional over how much he liked them, the choice is easily made.  

* * *

 

 

          E r e n ' s   s u r p r i s e d   w h e n   L e v i   r e t u r n s   h o m e   with cake and some drawing material for the boy who's recently discovered his artistic side.  

Levi's not wrapped the gifts, simply because he doesn't feel comfortable with the thought of spending an hour tying red bows around shit.   
And thus, awkwardly hands them to the boy in the recyclable bag that had come with it.  

The boy acts stiffly, either shy or touched by the man's gesture. Whatever it is that's going on in his head, Levi does not expect a thank you or an enthusiastic reply. He deems it not particularly necessary.  

But then Eren's emerald eyes are wide and alive when he takes the bag from Levi, using both of his hands and smiling hesitantly in an endearingly polite manner.  

And evermore, having Eren spend the entire evening on the living room's floor, a thick blanket beneath him to cushion the pressure on his elbows, drawing whatever his little heart desires, lets Levi know he's quite appreciative of the gifts.  

That night they share the bed. They do not sleep together every night, but it has become quite common by now.   

Eren's always the one deciding, the one in charge. It is he who chooses where he wants to sleep and whether he wants to be alone or not.   
Levi never interferes with this decision that belongs solely to the boy who's in a far more vulnerable position than the man at all times as it is.  

Levi doesn't mind anymore. By now he's learned there's no immediate threat in being close to the boy. It hasn't become more difficult for him to resist touching Eren in any manner considered inappropriate. In fact, the closer they get, the less tempted he is to act upon sinful deeds. Something he hadn’t expected. 

He likes him and even though he wants more of Eren than is given, it is because of greed and not necessity. By standards Eren is giving him plenty enough, has poured every ounce of trust in a man capable of abusing every part of him, emotional and physical.  

It's been a year and not once has Levi acted upon predatory desires. He's grown accustomed to ignoring the nagging urge, and undoubtedly has become fond enough of Eren to develop some degree of selflessness by perceiving the child undeserving of ever again having his trust in another broken.  

The boy deserves better.  

Or no. He deserves the best.  

Then, if the only reason to deny Eren from sharing his bed with him is that of trying to prevent himself from growing emotionally attached. Well, it's far too late now.  

A sense of fragile peace has settled over the both of them. But neither make illusions of the disruption so likely waiting around the corner.  

* * *

 

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	10. Part 9

 

**PART 9.**

 

       T h e   c h i l d   o n   t h e   p i c t u r e   a p p e a r s   f a m i l i a r .  

Levi's eyes narrow as he peers at the framed image, flashlight reflecting off the glossy paper until he adjusts the angle.  

          "It's a fucking small world, isn't it?" Levi mumbles quietly to himself before glancing over his shoulder, up the staircase leading to the second floor. He hesitates when about to ascend it.  

Stalling isn't at all an act Levi appreciates, let alone practices. Yet, his mind requests of him to take a moment to reconsider what he's just discovered and how he may or may not adjust his plans accordingly.  

Tonight's target is currently supposed to be asleep in the upstairs bedroom. Again, it should be an easy job. Walk in, assassinate, leave the scene.  

However, considering the picture Levi's just discovered, nothing is left quite that simple anymore.  

The man grits his teeth, wonders whether or not Erwin's in on it. Likely he is, of course. After all, what are the odds of his boss unknowingly sending him to murder a man who is known to Eren?  

Going by the image, of a gentle-eyed woman and scruffy-looking man standing side by side, a younger Eren in the middle, the target is likely the boy's father.   
No matter Erwin's sneaky games to assure himself of Levi's loyalty and honesty, he's easily read by the latter.   
It didn't use to be like this. Years, mere months, ago Levi had found Erwin impossible to figure out and has even misjudged him plenty of times by now (often not to Levi's benefit).  

Nonetheless, now tonight, Levi is certain that the man indeed knows about Eren and undoubtedly is aware of the target being related to the boy.  

He's intentionally chosen Levi from dozens of his men to perform the assassination.  

Because he knows. And he wants to figure out whether Levi will go ahead and kill likely the last piece of Eren's past, person and identity, or if he will choose the boy over the job and not go through with it.  

Erwin knows Levi knows. And with so he's given the man an obvious task.  

He snarls. Not fond of being handled like a puppet, though understands that in this business you cannot trust a man on his word, no matter how much respect is shared between them or how long they've known one another.  

There's regret weighing him down, Levi wishes he'd asked about Eren's past. Yet, he's always been afraid to do so, not desiring to have the child relive negative memories by digging through them.  

The man selfishly hopes Eren's parents were atrocious, those extra years lived in agony may then soothe Levi's guilt for murdering the boy's father. It's a cruel thought.  

And he will.  

He will kill the man. A man who very likely is a tool managed by Erwin's hand rather than an actual criminal or danger to anyone.  

The back of his mind hums in a disapproving fashion. It warns him for carrying a secret from Eren which can easily be used against him one day.  

But then, what if his target lives and finds out about Eren? Obviously, he will want his child back. He will take him from Levi and thus the latter will be forced back into his monotonous life-style of eating, sleeping, shitting and killing.  

For a few moments Levi imagines what it was like before the boy. How quiet his home had been. How it had not even felt like a home but just a hideout, a plain roof over his head. And he imagines what it will be like if Eren's taken away. How again the house will stumble into silence, how it no longer will smell of Eren, how he will have to get rid of his toys, his soaps and toothbrush, his favorite over-sized mug which serves to hold hot chocolate milk only, and of which he's taken many sips on rainy nightmare haunted nights.  

Levi scowls, opening the wallet he's found on the night-stand next to which he's at. The man's I.D. reads 'Grisha Jäger' and this seals the deal.  

Levi lifts his silenced handgun, aims at the snoring man's head and after a deep breath; pulls the trigger.  

* * *

 

 

  

          U n c o n d i t i o n a l   t r u s t   is a blessing Eren's soaked Levi with. The boy is so eager to believe in the good of human kind that after years of abuse by countless of people he is still pouring hope into Levi's hands. The sheer amount of which seems to wash away at least some of the blood tattooed into the skin of the man's palms.  

Nonetheless.  

The man sees it as him fooling himself. But perhaps Eren's this way because he is still quite young and capable of bouncing back up. Though, Levi had not been like that when he'd been a child, and hasn't since.  

The first week after he's assassinated the man Erwin's confirmed to be Eren's father, Levi is on edge. The ridiculous notion of Eren knowing pesters him throughout sleepless nights. He expects the kid to walk up to him at any given time, confront him of what he's done and then leave with a ruined heart.  

The last thing Levi wants is to sadden the child. This isn't a white lie he's keeping hidden but he makes no illusions of anyone not having a few secrets carried with them to the grave. He plans to do just so.  

As the months pass Levi's guilt lulls itself into the back of his mind, settles down next to all of the other memories that occasionally find a waking moment into torturing his conscience. And so, life continues on its merry way and the man watches Eren grow up slowly.  

When nearing Eren's fourteenth birthday Levi bitterly notes that the kid will very likely outgrow him in no time. They're nose to nose as it is. Not to mention the actual strength of him that is showing when he bumps Levi's shoulder with his own whenever the latter produces a half-assed joke. Sometimes he even dares to slap him on the shoulder and Levi is left fighting the instinctive desire to reel a fist towards the brat's solar plexus at unforgivingly high velocity.  

Especially during math, which undoubtedly has been invented by martyrs. According to Levi.  

Yes. Math.  

Sending the brat to any school has always painted a bolded and capitalized ' **NO** ' on his retina and hence he spends hours every day teaching the boy all that is needed in life and then some.  

Social skills though, is something a tad more difficult to go around. Eren's been with him for over two years now and during that entire time he's not met another person or even left the forest in which they live.  

The man doesn't dare to have him tag along with grocery shopping or anything else practiced alongside crowds, absolutely petrified of having someone recognize the kid as whomever he might be to them and try to take him away.  

Nonetheless, likely because of previous encounters, Eren's never seemed bothered with not having anyone but Levi around.  

They rarely fight, find it easy to take part in conversations which never grow dull, and there's even enough of a playful element left within the older man to entertain the boy's mischievous and youthful mind.  

For someone who deems insults appropriate nicknames for even those he doesn't particularly dislike, Levi sure is a pro at living with another person. It's not living alongside him, but truly with him.  

Life's kind, for once, and even Erwin remains off Levi's ass about Eren. After all, the man's proven by now that the kid does not at all cause any trouble, and likely never will.  

Though Levi indulges in the peace, he's still nervous for something to go wrong. This can't last. This is all going too well. He does not deserve this one bit and though life's unfair (bad given to the good, good to the bad), he does not believe he will be granted a happy ending regardless of the actual sins he's committed in life.  

Yet here they are.  

Levi blinks sleepily at Eren who's sneaked into his bedroom at three in the morning. The kid by now has his own bed farther down the hall in a room of his own and this combined with the lack of nightmares he's been experiencing as of late, it is unusual to have him sneak inside here.  

          "Can I sleep with you?" Eren's voice is a tad deeper than it was a year ago and Levi ignores the tug within his guts at hearing such a tone pronounce those particularly ambiguous words.  

The man grunts, feigning agitation, as he folds back the blanket and scoots aside to make room.  

Levi grows rigid when Eren unceremoniously plasters his body against his front. His lanky teenage limbs wrap around the older man without shame and Levi feels like a pet being hogged by a toddler against its will.  

          "Did you have a nightmare?" Levi asks stiffly.  

Eren shakes his head, the movement causing his nose to rub against the collar of Levi's shirt.  

          "No. I just… I don't really have a reason other than that I feel alone."  

The man's skin grows hot when Eren shifts around and slides a thigh between Levi's. His heart skips several beats though Eren seems to only relax further, preparing for sleep.  

          "Is it okay?" Eren asks, breath hot through the fabric of Levi's shirt.  

Whether if he is referring to their physical closeness or the emotional aspect of wanting to sleep with the man when lonely, Levi isn't sure.  

This isn't appropriate though. It wouldn't be with a parent (not at the age Eren's at right now, that labels him an adolescent) thus let alone with a man not related by blood in any way, shape or form.  

Levi asks himself if perhaps this is the aftermath of having been intimate, repeatedly, with strangers when he'd been younger. Is this why Eren sees no harm in them lying together with limbs entwined lover-like?  

If anything, he should be very aware of how inappropriate this is to do.  

That is, unless, he does know. And he is doing this intentionally.  

Nevertheless, Levi tends to become a bit meek whenever something's to do with the boy and thus he accepts defeat and wraps his arms around Eren.  

          "Yes." Levi whispers.  

Eren breathes slow and heavy, already asleep, and leaves the man with no other option but to settle down himself.  

 

* * *

 

 

          " W h y   a r e n ' t   y o u   m a r r i e d ? "   Eren asks one day. Levi sputters into his coffee, scowling when noticing the boy hide a grin.  

          "What kind of question is that?" The man remarks, annoyed and rather curious over the other's reasoning to urge him asking such a thing.  

          "You're quite old, is all. That's why I wonder."  

          "Compared to you everyone's old, shitty brat."  

Eren barks a laugh. A typical ‘Eren sound’ that Levi longs to hear far more often than he wants to admit to himself, let alone to the kid.  

          "Aren't you seeing anyone?" The boy continues and his green eyes glisten in a mischievous way. Levi clicks his tongue in the back of his throat, teeth clenched.  

          "Where would I find the time to be dating someone?" His question is worded carefully before sipping from the cup of coffee, the rim of which is held between fingers.  

          "You've plenty of time. You're always sitting at home when not on a job."  

          "I like being home. Just because the general population decides on the white picket fence lifestyle doesn't mean I do."  

Eren thinks for a moment, staring off somewhere before continuing on his quest of curiosity.  

         "Do you like spending time with me?"  

The question is bold and Levi spots at least some degree of a double entendre in there somewhere. He glares at the boy who easily avoids his gaze, instead toggling on the portable video game device in his hands.  

          "I'm used to it." The man notes in tactless fashion, watching carefully for the boy's reaction. Eren's shoulders tense only briefly and his bare feet halt their swaying, instead curling the toes on top of the bar-stool's foot-rest. Any sign of disapproval quickly gets once more hidden from sight soon after.  

Eren seems to lose his train of thought and remains quiet for the remainder of breakfast. Whereas the kid has again revealed a sliver of his infatuation, Levi has hidden his interest and appreciation.  

Why? It's in his nature.  

But Eren and he both know it is far too late by now to hide true feelings.  

Perhaps keeping up appearances has finally become something Levi  _can_  relate to.  

* * *

                                            

          G o i n g   b y   E r e n ' s   a g e   and the mess of hormones that accompanies it, Levi should not be as surprised as he is to witness Eren asking him the most lewd and inappropriate of questions.  

The boy is no virgin, his wonders do not relate to first times or what it is like to kiss, but rather he seems to ask himself what the difference is when sex falls into the lives of normal people.  

What sex is like when embraced by mutual consent.  

It's kind of a relief to see Eren apparently possesses an interest in intimacy altogether, considering what he's been through. He could just as well have ended up a person who screams in terror at the slightest touch laid upon their skin. With good reason.  

Levi isn't dumb enough to believe the boy's gotten over his past and will be growing gracefully into the picture-book example of a mentally stable young man.  

And there's nothing wrong with that except for the hurt this kid is still going to have to go through.  

Yet it seems Levi's misunderstood the kid's reasoning behind questioning that particular subject. Eren's not so much driven by curiosity as he is by desperation and genuine worry.  

Even in the dark Levi can tell Eren is blushing fiercely. He continues shoving his own face into the pillow while he squirms. Whatever it is he wants to confess, it is near literally hurting him and Levi has to choke down anticipating curiosity to find the patience within him to not shake the words from the boy.  

          "I'm…" He begins, then swallows, a soft groan of embarrassment hanging on his lips.  

Levi wonders if holding him or stroking his hair might soothe him enough to speak. But the subject doesn't seem like one that’d be supported by physical ministrations.  

          "I'm not right."  

Levi waits. He's silent and still and Eren stares at him for a long moment before finding courage within the man's lack of judgement or haste.  

          "My body doesn't feel right. Like… it's dislodged from my brain. Like there's a joint missing that connects one with the other." Eren murmurs thoughtfully, nips gently on the tip of his thumb while considering how to continue. Levi watches closely in the dark, chest warming at the adorable picture a shy Eren with bed-head paints.  

          "Something isn't functioning. I know what I want should be wrong. I shouldn't want this. But I still try. I know what to do, how to do it, but my mind can't accept what I do to my body. What my body wants."  

Levi frowns, slowly figuring out that Eren is admitting in a roundabout manner that his hormones desire that which his mind has told him is very wrong.  

          "I don't know how to fix it. Well, how to fix it myself. And when I think about… about this  _someone_ , it feels like I get closer every time. But it's not enough, the thought alone is not enough." The boy continues on vaguely and meanwhile reaches out towards Levi, clasping his hand gently under the blanket. The man jolts.  

          "I'm afraid." The boy admits in a whisper and places Levi's hand against his own chest. The man can feel Eren's heartbeat; quick and irregular and he holds his breath in anticipation. It does not quite yet process to him what is actually going on. 

          "Because I never did it myself. Others did it to me and it always was horrible. But when I think about- well... about you… you doing it to me. Or  _with_  me. I feel like I may one day learn how to move on. On my own perhaps. Or with you as well. But that's not right, is it? I'm horrible for wanting that, aren't I?"  

          "Eren. Shut u-." The man's words stutter to a halt when Eren slides Levi's hand which he's still holding down over his scrawny chest to his stomach and eventually abdomen.  

          "I am disgusted of myself." Eren admits and his voice wobbles. "But I really want you to. I need you to touch me, please?"  

The man loses his breath at those words and yanks his hand back as if it had gotten burned. He leans up onto an elbow, quite desperate to get some distance between the two of them.  

Eren appears startled, scared even and his wide eyes do not blink, his muscles do not move while Levi stares down at him. The man's breath shakes -rattles his every bone- when he inhales deeply through his nose in an effort to calm down at the sudden green light given to him.  

The brat wants Levi. Levi wants the brat.  

The man has spent the past years beating off to images of the nape of Eren's slender neck, boyish strands of hair curled and rested upon the tanned skin. To images of his small feet and the tiny toes which betray his shyness by curling into the plush carpet as much as his ears do by turning bright red at the tips when blushing.  

To the visions of watching the boy eat, a very human act that normally disgusts Levi to witness, but somehow when Eren does it, it excites him to see lips curl around cutlery and jaws shift under skin during chewing.  

To visions… well, so many more.  

Being intimate with a fourteen-year-old is morally uncalled for as it is. Let alone a fourteen-year-old who's been fucked against their will at an even younger age than that.  

When he tries to remember if perhaps he's done something that has caused Eren to believe he needs to pay him back with his body, nothing comes to mind.  

          "Levi." His name is spoken so gently into the quiet between them that the man wakes from his raging mind calmly. Eren's sound pulls him back down to earth and he takes the opportunity to consume a deep breath of air, the oxygen filling his lungs and blood.  

          "I'm sorry. I-I-I- shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it. Please don't be angry. I'll never do that again. I'm sorry. Please. Please forgive me. I don't want to upset you. I will never mention it again. Just don't be upset with m-"  

Levi shushes him, a tad too angrily when going by the volume of the sound and the clipped length of it. Not to mention the scowl that follows suit.  

The boy shrinks in on himself and Levi can hear him gulp.  

          "I'm not like them."  

The words surprise Levi even though he himself is the one who's said them. Is that his true worry? Is he insulted because Eren may have seen right through him, having spot the indecent desire he's seen so many times in men before.  

Levi may not be like those pigs but 'moral' of the story is that he does want this child in ways others have before him. So, then how is he any better than them, even when not acting upon his longings?  

          "Of course you're n-"  

          "Eren." Levi interrupts, clenching his jaws before continuing. "I am not of their kind. Don't ever compare me to their like. Ever."  

          "I w- wasn't. I swear I wasn't, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just-"  

The boy's meek attitude; crawling back, swallowing down words he so obviously had spoken in truth, having enough disrespect to treat Levi like a pedophilic bastard, cowering… It all pisses him off immensely.  

Because he no longer can deny  _what_  he is. Not now Eren has bared himself to him and having caused Levi to witness the fright and shock in his own mind at being labeled a pervert.  

The truth hits hard.  

The man throws off the blanket and abruptly leaves the room. The door between Eren and himself slams shut hard enough for the house to rattle along with both their composures.

* * *

 

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	11. Part 10

**_oof, this chapter is ROUGH._**

 

**PART 10.**

 

          T h e   c o n s e q u e n c e s   of what Eren's confessed last night, and Levi's reaction to it are forcefully postponed.  

His heart nearly punches itself through his ribcage when he sees another person seated next to Eren on the couch in their living room.  

          "How the fuck did you find out where I live and pick all seven locks of the front door?" Levi speaks in clipped, annoyed tones.  

          "Levi! I'm also very happy to see you!" The woman (though her gender has always been ambiguously left to the imagination) smiles widely at him.  

          "Save it." The man grumbles, glancing at a shaken looking Eren who meets his eye and immediately starts to grow red.  

          "Yes, I  _would_  like some tea, thank you Levi. Still as welcoming as ever, I see." She wiggles her eyebrows for no other reason than to be an obnoxious dickhead while leaning back farther into the couch, arms spread over the back of it.  

It works. It always works. She's the bane of Levi's existence, put on this earth to grind his gears like you wouldn't believe.  

Basically; like a sister.  

          "Come." With a glare Levi commands that she follows him as he turns back around and leaves the living room before she's even moved a muscle.  

She is not at all a threat to Eren, has probably already grown intrigued by him. But that doesn't mean Levi is amused by the fact that she has found out where he lives and not only that, but has discovered there's a boy living with him. A boy who had started to blush furiously the moment Levi had looked at him, something Hange will have picked up on with her freaky senses developed solely to be a nosy nuisance. And well, Eren's never been subtle anyways. So, the outcome had already been decided for them.  

Hange, alas one of the gang's shady medical doctors and self-acclaimed 'surgeon of improvisation', is someone Levi's met soon after he began working under Erwin in more ways than one. He doesn't hate her, but nor does he particularly like her. She is trustworthy, loyal, and fucking insane.  

Yet, Levi is untrusting by nature and thus has never allowed himself to grow as attached to her as she has to him.  

          "You never told me you got a pet." Hange jokes in a sultry voice as she follows Levi into his office.  

          "Close the damn door."  

She obeys, unbothered by Levi's rudeness and she even manages to not touch the Newton's Pendulum between them when sitting down at the desk across from Levi.  

          "Shut up." He says dryly when she opens her mouth, too tired to deal with her bullshit. "What do you want?"  

          "Just paying a visit. I missed you, you know." Her long body appears sluggish in the chair. She's lanky and tall and Levi wonders what it is like to have noodles for limbs.  

          "How did you find me?"  

          "I asked Erwin. He told me only because he thought it'd do you some good to be around people."  

Levi scoffs, amused at Eyebrows sending Hange to check on him though lying about the reason for it. Erwin is his boss first, friend (he assumes) second. There's no logic in Levi's opinion to be found in Erwin worrying over his emotional well-being.  

Unless those supposed emotional issues would come to affect his performance at the job. Which isn't the case whatsoever.  

          "I'm around people plenty."  

          "Name five people you've seen this year."  

Levi is about to reply when Hange interrupts him.  

          "Excluding targets."  

Levi snaps shut his mouth and watches her smile in a smug manner.  

          "How did you get insi-" He tries to ask instead, changing the subject, before once more being interrupted by her impatience and lack of manners.  

          "Is he family?" She changes the subject just like he had. 

Levi isn't fazed by her tendency to jump from one topic on to another. Regardless, he'd rather not indulge her by introducing her to the kid. 

          "He is none of your business. Now, again, what do you want?"  

          "He didn't say a word, you know? I asked him if you were home and he just pinched his lips and stared me down. He's like an angry, protective puppy. It's very cute." She chuckles and sighs dramatically, as if recalling the good ol' days.  

          "Look, shithead, I've got things to do, like making sure no one's followed your sorry ass out here."  

          "Oh Levi, don't be like that. You know I'm careful with those kinds of things. Erwin would've never given me the address elsewise."  

She has a point, Levi thinks to himself when he gets up and exits the office, agitated enough to nearly convince him to choke her.  

Hange has always been protective over anyone in their local gang and will move heaven and earth to make sure no harm comes to anyone she's watching over. He does know she's competent enough to secure no one's tracked her to here but he isn't so sure she won't tattle to Erwin about Eren.  

Never mind that his boss is secretly aware of the boy living with Levi, the latter cannot be sure as to what Hange's overexcited mind will conjure up and have her unknowingly lie to their boss about.  

It's clear she's made up her mind though and Levi has wasted enough time in the past by trying to change it. He doesn't try, instead accepts that seeing her once a year is probably doable for now and he'll just have to make sure she doesn't figure out how much Eren actually  _does_  mean to him.  

Predictably she follows him through the house, a skip in her step, before Levi tells her to make herself useful and prepare some meal for the three of them.  

Though, when seated together at the kitchen island, half an hour later, with Hange at the end and Eren and Levi facing one another in her line of sight, the man regrets not having kicked her out.  

          "So, what happened between you two?"  

Eren drops his fork onto his plate at Hange's question and Levi nearly snaps the phone he's holding in half. His heart skips a beat, fearing she somehow figured out that Levi fancies a fourteen-year-old or that Eren had tried to convince him of helping him masturbate last night. 

When the man glances at the boy, the latter turns red in no time. Eren looks away abruptly, down at his plate, picking up the fork he'd dropped.  

          "Nothing happened." Levi murmurs, agitated though nervous, watching Hange's eyes flick from him to the boy who's shrunk in on himself and seems incapable of finishing breakfast.  

She seems to ponder before a grin distorts her obnoxious face.  

          "Oooh… I see what's going on here." She teases, leaning one elbow on the table, waving her spoon slowly from left to right as she points at the two of them.  

          "He's got a little crush on you, doesn't he?"  

Eren proves the matter by abruptly hiding his face behind his hands. Levi wonders why he doesn't run away. Is it a matter of fear or pride?  

          "Aw, it's okay, cutie. You can't help it can you?"  

Levi watches, rather transfixed, how Eren peers at the doctor through his fingers and eager curiosity is reflected within the green of his teared-up eyes. He already likes her, the dumb-ass.  

          "What's your name, hm? I'd ask shorty over here but we both know he's too much of an angry old man to work along."  

Levi opens his mouth, ready to share some facts about the abomination of her lanky body having outgrown what is considered to be the average population's height (she towers over many like a goddamn oak) but then Eren lowers his hands and stares at her; interested.  

          "I'm Eren."  

          "Nice to meet you, Eren. My name is Hange." They shake hands like civilized people and Levi grows a headache at seeing her bond within minutes whereas it took him months. Which was his own fault of course.  

          "You know, a lot of people think he's mysterious, collected and interesting and 'cool' but honestly, Eren sweetheart, let me tell you some embarrassing stories."  

          "Hange." Levi warns.  

And she proceeds to tell Eren about how he once ruined a deal between a prime minister and their boss because he'd asked the former whether it had been constipation or lack of manners that had caused him to be ten minutes late to the meeting.  

          "No."  

He says when she starts to talk about how he once had postponed a date because he'd found a street cat meowing at him and went to buy it food because apparently the feline was more appealing than the prospect of an attractive lady waiting for him.  

          "Don't."  

And she continues on with telling the boy that Levi has his own little wooden box down at headquarters so Erwin doesn't shrink him into oblivion when they are stood before a crowd. That he doesn't have a clue how to open up coconuts in any other way than to annihilate them with a hammer.   
That the one and only time Hange had made him laugh -or seen him laugh for that matter- the man had nearly choked on his food and it had apparently reinforced his dedication to not do that ever again.   
That he once slipped on ice and his lithe body whooshed past Hange so fast she had not recognized the blur being Levi until he'd come to an abrupt and noisy halt by slamming into a parked car with a thunk, causing its alarm to go off and their drunken asses to run and slip through town in the middle of the night.  

Levi watches them interact. Forgets to listen to Hange or even grow upset at her because his attention is focused on Eren who keeps smiling wider and wider while occasionally glancing at Levi.  

His laugh is amazing. It's loud and chopped, like little barks, and occasionally a snort escapes.  

Hange's is horrific. Hers is nasal and goose-like. Always sounding like a trumpet from the reject pile.  

          "Alright, idiots. Take your shenanigans elsewhere, I need to clean the kitchen." The man commands after a few minutes.  

Hange and Eren get up and he hears her whisper 'shenanigans' (which, okay, is quite a prehistoric if not unusual word for Levi to use) which makes them both snort under their breaths while they leave.  

Eren looks over his shoulder quickly, throwing Levi a hesitant smile, obviously hoping the man is no longer upset with him. Levi nods his head once and the boy grins in relief before turning the corner.  

Of course, Levi isn't upset with him.  

Yesterday had all to do with him trying to deny himself. At that moment his fear had caused him to grow near blind and today he knows it wasn't Eren's fault. Of course not. It never is. The boy trusted Levi enough to suggest him participating in such a bold act with him and though it had ended up with an agitated Levi, today the boy already seems to be brave enough to let it all slide with some help from Hange's cheerful presence.  

It's fine. Perhaps they'll have to talk about it one day, but for now they are once again fine. It's not that big of a deal, right?  

 

* * *

 

 

          H a n g e   s t a y s   t h r e e   d a y s   before continuing on her way to visit old friends across the nation.  

During that time she's spent quite some time with Eren who accepted her with open arms and not an ounce of suspicion. Levi should be worried that the kid trusts so easily, but really it is endearing and admirable.  

Though Levi knows it would have him end up dead in no time if he'd try to be more alike, he still wishes foolishly he could live as carefree and loving as Eren does.  

The boy's personality blooms into something beautiful and open. He has not become a shadow of himself. His heart isn't a shriveled prune like Levi's.  

No. He's everything Levi is not and the man falls head over heels because of this. Eren has been abused, he has even killed a man, he has no family, no friends other than an old grumpy man and now a four eyed doctor. He's been through hell and back and has still come out victorious.  

Stubbornness and pride fuel him into recovering. Determination pushes him into making sure he finds happiness in his life and all of this cause Levi to feel as proud and grateful as a father would.  

This kid got a second chance. And he fucking took it, held on and devoured it in greedy hunger for survival.  

Levi sighs, opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling.  

As if Eren is wired to his every thought with those of himself; he comes sneaking inside after a soft knock on the door Levi always leaves open, not a minute later.  

The man doesn't question it anymore, only scoots over and opens his arms for Eren to settle against his body.  

With one hand under his own head, Levi's free arm cradles the boy against his side and he soon begins to stroke his soft hair, curling strands around fingers.  

The boy's head is resting upon his chest, and the man wonders, when Eren splays a hand over his sternum, if he can hear -perhaps feel- how strong and sure Levi's heart is beating for him.  

 

* * *

 

  

          E r e n   o n c e   m o r e   p r o v e s   that he in fact is more capable of dealing with emotions than Levi. Again, that brave nature of his outshines all of his other (already goddamn blinding) attributes when he tackles the elephant in the room to the ground like a professional football player.  

          "Levi?" Eren calls in a whiny manner though Levi hardly grows annoyed by it and rather looks up from his papers, abandoning work, to welcome Eren into his office.  

The man gives him a nod, assuring him he has time, and proceeds to watch as Eren closes the door quietly behind him.  

With his back turned to Levi, the latter takes the opportunity to appreciate the elegant and peculiar attractiveness of Eren's nape. His night shirt is various sizes too big and as the collar has drooped a tad, revealing the top knob of his spine, he notices a tan line.  

Eren resembles summer. Always has, with green eyes, warm skin and soft hair, and always will. And fittingly, Levi grows warm at the sight of him.  

          "I wanted to talk about something." The kid says, his tone polite and serious, before lowering himself onto the chair across from Levi.  

Softly exhaling, Levi closes the folder on his desk, caps his pen and places it down before leaning back in his seat.  

Eren notices the invitation and continues.  

          "What happened last week, that night before Miss Hange visited, I w-want. …" Eren hesitates and Levi tries his best not to jump out of a window to escape the inevitable discussion.  

          "I want to apologize."  

' _No_.' The man thinks to himself. Nothing is Eren's fault. He does not want him to believe he's guilty of Levi's violent reaction.  

          "There's no need to." He simply states, paying mind to not cross his arms and look even more unwelcoming than his face in general causes him to.  

          "But what I said-"  

          "Eren. Listen to me." Levi leans forward, elbows planted on his desk and he intentionally remains silent until Eren finally meets his eye.  

          "What you are going through is not abnormal. It is not shocking. It is not perverse. My reaction was out of order, I should not have fled like that and have left you confused and insecure. Regardless," He pauses. "I will not touch you like that."  

Eren swallows and looks down at his hands which lay folded in his lap.  

          "Don't you like me?"  

          "That is not what it is about." Levi assures.  

          "Did I do something wrong?" His voice is tiny and Levi can tell the boy is about to cry. It makes him wonder whether Eren is this emotional of a human being because of what he's been through or because Levi does mean that much to him.  

          "It's not to do with you, it's-"  

          "Is it because I'm  _dirty_?"  

The question catches Levi off guard and he needs to recollect his wits in order to process what has just been said. The silence apparently causes Eren to believe he's hit the nail on the head because he curls in on himself immediately, grimacing.  

          "Is that why you don't want me? Because I have been tainted? Because you are not the first one?" Eren's eyes are watery when he looks back up and Levi chokes at seeing the kid's chin wobble and his eyebrows crease.  

Now that Eren tends to be a happy child day in day out, smiling so often it hurts Levi's cheeks just watching him, it hits the man even harder to see him upset. It even surprises him to see him teary-eyed which hasn't happened in a while.  

It's not that he thinks Eren is fine. Rather, he sometimes forgets the bad times and revels in the present; living in a carefree fashion with the boy who always makes sure to bring positivity with him.  

He sometimes forgets that they are both tainted, misshapen and recovering. And that Eren isn't as strong as he seems to be, though  _is_  strong nonetheless.  

He only now questions himself about the truthfulness of Eren's reoccurring happy demeanor. Perhaps he's already taught himself how to wear a mask? Perhaps he does still cry himself to sleep on bad nights, but has learned to do it quietly. Perhaps it is Levi he wants to spare and it is not fear that prevents him from hiding supposed griefs.  

It'd be typical for the selfless brat.  

This thought punches Levi in the chest, hoping to all that is dear he hasn't been blind to what Eren is going through.  

         "Because, I mean, I can't help it, you know?" Eren continues and gradually his voice grows louder and shakier throughout his anxious rattling. "I didn't choose to be- to be a-abused and I can't just wash it off or forget about it or go back in time and change everything and just meet you before my parents abandoned me and have you protect me from what the future would bring and be my first one and I don't want you to hate me because I  _like_  you  _so_   _much_ , I really do, and I can't stand the thought of me making you sick or ashamed or upset or- and-" 

A deep breath. 

         "I'm so tired of disappointing you. I just want to be your equal and I want to be grown up and be together with you forever, but I'm so afraid I am doing things wrong and you are only being this kind to me out of pity or- or- I don't know, I just need- I  _need_ -"  

Levi, who got up the moment tears began to roll down Eren's cheeks, walks over to him and pulls him abruptly into his arms, lifting him off the chair and cradling the back of his head to press his face gently into the crook of his neck. The moment Levi touches him he breaks down fully and the man stands, hurting, in the middle of his office with Eren clinging to the back of his shirt as he holds on to him for dear life.  

          "It's okay." Levi whispers, his thumbs stroking Eren where they rest; one on his skull behind an ear and one on his back. "It's going to be okay. It's not your fault. Whatever has happened, it is not your fault, I promise."  

          "Levi." Eren whimpers his name, likely subconsciously as the man's name undoubtedly serves to soothe him.  

          "You do not disgust me, Eren. You are the furthest from dirty." The boy shifts on his feet, holds him closer and presses his cheek against the other's like a feline stroking its scent over its possession.  

Levi feels the wetness of Eren's tears smear over his skin.  

When grasping how tired he is of Eren being miserable, he can only imagine what the kid is going through. He's got good days, of course, however these moments of hurt are much easier to remember and considerably harder to discard.  

Time passes them by and it is meaningless to Levi. His focus is on the boy shaking in his arms, and nothing can draw him away, not even the passing of minutes, hours or weeks and months.  

When he has calmed down a considerable amount, Eren pulls away slightly, his body no longer shuddering, though he still feels unsteady in the man's arms.  

Only when their eyes meet does Levi realize that his right hand has slipped down to cup Eren's jaw, thumb stroking away another tear that rolls down. More importantly he notices too late that they're as good as nose to nose and it causes him to gasp silently, holding his breath.  

          "I…" Eren's voice cracks, his lips press together in an attempt to hold back the tears that have already begun to pick up their previous path down his flushed face. Levi watches him blink repeatedly, listens to him swallow down the tightness in his throat built up by his crying.  

And what else can he do than hold the boy's face in both hands and shush him gently?  

          "I feel really sad." Eren whispers, croaks, and looks at him as if expecting to be saved.  

The sentence in itself could be considered an underwhelming description of what is clearly going on within the child's emotions. But the simplicity of them only remind Levi of how young Eren is and of how much innocence he's maintained even with having had all odds against him.  

          "Close your eyes." Levi murmurs quietly, secretly not able to stand having Eren's bright green eyes appear so dark, wet and incredibly naked. Begging for a cure that Levi can't ever give him but only help him towards. How he fucking wishes he could draw all the bad from the boy's system. Even if he'd have to inject it within himself, he'd do it.  

Eren obeys, closing his lids while taking a shuddering breath and Levi knows what the boy wants when he tilts his head to the side only a little bit while holding his breath.  

The opportunity to observe him isn't lost on Levi and hence the man allows his eyes to roam over the boy's entire face in close-up. All the way from the silky chocolate strands resting on his forehead to the bopping Adam's apple that has still to develop and is barely showing under soft skin.  

And everything that lays in between; elegant shaped eyebrows, long lashes thickened and darkened with tears, ears that stick out only a little bit at the tips, button-nose red and sniffing quietly, the soft contours of his jawline and the cheekbones which promise to become sharp once he's a bit older.  

And then, his mouth, considerably small just like his nose and chin, all of which is emphasized whenever he has his big eyes open. Eyes which still to this day seem a bit too large for his features but nonetheless add an imperfect and stunning grace to him.  

Every inch of him is appealing to Levi and he believes, entirely, that Eren will always be beautiful to him. And he'll always appreciate this.  

When he figures out that his heart is pounding this fast because he simply wants to kiss the lips Eren's nipped into a blood-plump red, Levi also is reminded of how the kid is still three months shy of turning fifteen and he himself is twenty-eight.  

And in this moment, with the warm body pressed against him, Levi cannot find the uncomfortable tension in his stomach that normally accompanies him whenever he's reminded of their fourteen years age gap.  

He's not disgusted, not quite, and the temptation almost proves to be too much for him.  

Yet. Eren's in a weak position. He's incredibly upset and unfocused and negativity has momentarily overtaken the boy's mind. It's not right as it is, and it especially wouldn't be right now.  

Thus. Levi cups his face more firmly, leans forward, and presses his lips against Eren's forehead where he keeps them for long seconds before pulling away.  

The child's eyes flutter open and he watches him in silence, the only sound in the room the ticking of a clock and the thumps of their hearts and the rush of blood chiming in their ears.  

Levi kisses the boy on the tip of his nose, which Eren wrinkles in adorable fashion as he tries to pull away. The man let's him go, but the kid still keeps his arms wrapped around him even though his features are scowling as he looks away, blushing furiously.  

Such as has happened countless of times before, Eren makes Levi want to grin. However, for the first time, in years, he actually allows himself to curl his lips up in a barely visible but definitely there smile.

* * *

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be uploading a finished one-shot this weekend for the Ereri Angst event! :D I hope to see you guys in the comments on that one <3


	12. Part 11

**Warning: sexual relations with a minor, underage drinking**   
_A/N: To that one person that asked me if Levi and Eren were going to do dirty things before Eren turned 15, I don't remember if I said yes? If I did, I'm sorry, but I was mistaken. I adjusted the timeline when rewriting and though the first time around Eren was younger than 15 in this chapter, this time around he isn't._   
_I apologize!_

 

 

**PART 11.**

 

          E r e n   t u r n s   f i f t e e n   o n   a   s u n n y   d a y . 

Spring seems to suit Eren almost as brilliantly as summer does. Whereas the latter suits the boy's limitless spirit and exotic looks, spring resembles the delicate blossoming of new life, or the blooming of that which had withered in the past. Aspects which do relate to him befittingly. 

The boy finally has come to enjoy disgusting fast-food which used to make his skin crawl. Levi watches him shove his mouth full with French fries, his cheeks rounded around the food he chews.   
Nonetheless, his lips remain sealed and Levi is pleased to note that at least half of his table-manners lessons have paid off in the end. 

          "I wish it was my birthday every day." Eren admits after having swallowed his dinner. Levi glances at him for a second before he resumes watching the garden being stirred to life. A breeze allows trees to rustle and the grass to bend like waves. The sun casts a brightness everywhere it can reach and besides Eren, birds as well enjoy the day thoroughly as they chirp enthusiastically, a sound which goes hand in hand with that of well-hidden though loud crickets. 

          "Why?" 

The boy wipes his mouth with a napkin before sliding aside his plate and leaning both elbows on the wooden table they're seated at on their back porch. 

          "Because you pay me attention." Eren admits in a matter-of-fact tone. He's become unabashed to a degree it could've made Levi blush had he been a lesser man. 

          "You  _are_  just like a dog after all." Levi says to himself with a pondering frown, though the boy recognizes the teasing lilt to the man's voice and hence sees it fit to punch him in the arm. 

          "Shut up." As quick as his viciousness had appeared it vanishes again, leaving Eren thoughtful once more. "Besides, I think it'll be nice to be an adult." 

Levi scoffs, eyes the kid who raises an eyebrow at him in sarcastic wonder. A little habit he's adopted from the man. 

          "It ain't that great, kid. Enjoy childhood while it lasts." 

          "Would you want to be a child again?" 

Levi thinks about that for a moment, recalling when exactly pleasure and purity had been forcefully taken from his childhood. 

          "A toddler maybe. Not a kid. Definitely not a teenager." 

Eren hums softly as he lets his eyes roam over Levi's profile a bit longer still. 

          "What did you hate about being a teenager?" The boy asks him curiously and Levi only entertains him for the sake of it being his damn birthday and that's reason enough for Levi to get that stick out of his own ass. In other words; justification for genuinely wanting to participate in a conversation with Eren. Oh, what a shock. 

          "What didn't I hate?" The man jokes with a grimace and has by now learned not to jump when Eren presses his toes against Levi's shin. He proceeds nudging him playfully, twice, with a smile that can only be described as flirtatious, before he lowers his bare foot to rest on Levi's which is dressed in leather shoe wear. 

The man grinds his heel into the wooden floorboards beneath and rhythmically begins to lift the front of his foot up and down while resuming to talk. 

          "The only good thing about it was the vibrancy of the body. You bounce back from anything. You heal fast and easy, barely get sick and when you do it is either short-lived or half assed. You can stay awake for three days straight without effort and meanwhile you're able to put your legs in your neck because for some reason you're basically a breathing out-of-control string of cooked spaghetti. The physical features were pleasant. The mental; not so much." 

Eren rests his chin on a hand and Levi can see him slightly sway because of his foot which remains on Levi's still moving up and down slowly, shifting the boy's weight. 

          "What about the mental?" Eren asks, predictably, but Levi doesn't mind. He's promised himself he will indulge the kid for his birthday, make it as relaxing and pleasant as possible for him as they hadn't quite celebrated his thirteenth nor fourteenth. 

          "Well. First of all, you think you know it all, but you know jack shit. You'll come to realize that later on. Everything revolves around you. Everything is the end of the world because you simply haven't been through life yet. It's a very isolated moment in life as you feel like no one truly gets you, simply because you yourself haven't a clue of who you are and are searching day and night for your identity." Levi grimaces. "It was shit. I'd rather be constipated for the rest of my life than go through puberty again." The boy hums once more. 

          "Do you feel like you know who you are now?" 

Levi almost smiles at the question, intrigued by the boy's words and the surety of there being meaning behind them. Not to mention; actual intelligence.   
Eren wants to get to know him, has been wanting so from the beginning and finally Levi doesn't mind that he does. 

It's okay if Eren knows the good and the bad of Levi. It's fine. They're together now, probably will be for a long time and by now Levi's too fond of the boy to continue hiding from him or himself. 

          "I do. But, in five years from now I will be a different person. We all keep evolving, we're always influenced by the outside world and it does knead the shape around our core. In heart, I know who I am, but there's always things you discover later on which you were blind to before." 

They both sip from their iced teas. Eren licks his lips subconsciously, consuming the sugar sticking to his skin, before he looks up at the sun with squinted eyes. Even with his face scrunched up, Eren is pleasing to the eye and Levi cannot resist to reach out and gently stroke a strand of hair behind the shell of Eren's ear. 

          "How about you?" Levi asks when Eren looks at him, blushing furiously at the kind gesture. 

          "I don't know." He murmurs and Levi doubts Eren even remembers what they had just been talking about. It's adorable how easy it is for him to lose his composure. 

          "Do you feel like you know who you are?" With that question Eren goes silent and he stares off into space somewhere behind Levi. The bare toes on Levi's foot curl around the laces minutely 

          "I think I'm too young." His eyes flicker back to the man's gray gaze. "Too young to know. But I think I like myself better since I met you." 

It's an intimate if not loving confession and Levi's instinct urges him to halt their conversation right then and there. 

          "What do you want for dessert?" The man asks while he gets up, avoiding the situation to become awkward. The boy follows him inside before suggesting pancakes with ice cream. 

When Levi is about to leave the place to go buy the ingredients, Eren stops him with fingers curling around his wrist. 

          "Uhm… can I come with you? Just once. For my birthday?" 

No. He can not. Even if it's almost been three years, Levi knows from experience that no time is long enough to stop anyone on a mission. If there's someone out there on the lookout for Eren, it won't be less risky because the kid's been locked away for a while. 

So, when will it be safe? 

Levi is aware that a great part of him is being paranoid -overly protective-, but he also knows that one should never say never and always expect the unexpected. 

          "No." 

          "Why?" He doesn't sound angry. Rather his voice and facial expression betray a considerate worry and genuine curiosity. 

          "It's too dangerous." 

          "Will it always be?" 

Levi hums, ruffling Eren's hair and easily dodging the kid's hand which swats at him. 

          "Don't worry so much." The man mumbles before turning on his heel. The fingers still wrapped around his wrist prevent him from taking more than one step though, and it makes Levi glance over his shoulder with a scowl. 

          "What?" 

          "Can I try alcohol?" Eren asks out of nowhere, causing Levi to wonder if the kid had just improvised on the spot to keep their conversation going or if he indeed is interested in consuming it. 

          "You're too young." 

Eren rolls his eyes and when Levi wants to leave, he still holds him back. 

          "Levi.  _Please_?" The boy's voice is soft and he wraps the fingers of his free hand around Levi's wrist as well, joining the other. 

Levi glances down meaningfully at Eren's hold but when looking back up at him, the boy has set his jaw stubbornly. 

          "Fine." The man grumbles, planting his palm against Eren's face when he starts to grin widely, and pushing him away gently. "Get off, brat." 

Eren lets him go and smiles, rubbing his nose where Levi might've pressed too hard. 

          "I'll be back in an hour." The man adds needlessly because for some reason he wants to keep standing here on his porch, with Eren leaning against the door's frame and their eyes on one another. The boy doesn't stop smiling, his eyes glint. 

          "Okay. I'll be waiting." Eren promises with a tone that borders on inappropriate mischievousness, and had he wiggled his eyebrows the picture of 'seductive villain' would've been perfected. 

          "Okay." Levi repeats in a murmur, distracted by the kid's aura before he eventually manages to turn around, only to hear the peculiar sound of dangling keys. 

          "You're going to need these." The boy says smugly, out-stretching an arm, his index finger serving as a hook for Levi's car keys. 

The man grabs them with a scowl and hopes that that had been the reason behind Eren's peculiar behavior and not something else entirely. Such as the plotting of world domination but involving less desire of controlling the planet and much more of getting in Levi's pants.

          "I'll be back soon. Behave your ass." 

          "Always, Levi."       

* * *

                                        

          " T h i s   i s   r e a l l y   g r o s s . "   Eren says with a grimace before trying another sip of the alcoholic beverage. 

          "It's an acquired taste." Levi explains as he flicks through some television channels. 

The man doesn't need to look over to see Eren drink from his glass. He can simply tell by how he curls his toes which rest underneath Levi's right thigh in a cringe. 

          "No, seriously, it's  _disgusting_." His tone sounds affronted. 

          "Stop drinking then, alcoholic brat." Levi murmurs, distracted by the brainless bullshit displayed before them on the television screen. 

          "I'm too young to be an alcoholic." Eren claims, sipping once more. The man glances at the boy who is blushing because of the heat from the alcohol he's been consuming. 

          "You're never too young. Follow your dreams, Eren." 

Eren snorts. Exceptionally clever when it comes to Levi's sense of humor whereas he's daft on most other subjects. Perhaps they're tuned in on one another after months of sharing quite the connection. 

          "Do you think people would be happy when they follow their dreams?" 

          "I think people would get arrested if they did." 

Eren frowns. 

          "Why?" 

Levi, who had only thought of his own situation as an example to go with his reasoning, presses his lips together firmly. Of course, he needs to find a suiting answer. Would he speak the truth, that of his dream being to get physically closer to Eren without affecting him negatively, shit would hit everything in vicinity.

          "People want what they can't have." 

          "So, they would steal?" 

          "Something along those lines, yes." Levi nods, meeting Eren's eye and he smiles gently at the boy who beams back at him. 

          "Tell me." The boy requests. "Tell me what you want more than anything in this world."

           "You first." 

On cue, Eren turns red immediately and Levi can guess dozens of things Eren wants and he'd not be wrong about any of those. 

Coyly, he shakes his head, mumbling there's nothing and that Levi should go ahead and share. 

          "There's no dreams I find necessary to follow. There's things I want I can't have. But those are fed by greed and hence should not be indulged." 

It's obvious Eren doesn't understand what Levi means and granted the man has remained cryptic intentionally. Though, truly there is nothing he desperately wants other than the kid himself. He will have Eren, one day, and his patience can simmer in this knowledge. However, other than that, there's nothing. 

Levi watches him frown in thought, momentarily fearing him to build up a headache. The man plucks the glass of alcohol from Eren's fingers, ignoring his poor attempt at holding on to it and gets up from the couch. 

When pouring the liquid into the sink, watching it swirl into the drain, Eren surprises him by wrapping his arms around his waist. Levi's stomach flutters at the intimate action and he tries to brush off the fact he'd paused all his movements the moment Eren touched him. 

Eren, unbothered by Levi going to soap and rinse the empty glass, rests his pointy chin on the man's left shoulder, watching. 

          "Can we sleep together tonight?" Eren asks in a whisper and Levi nearly drops the glass when feeling the boy's breath ghost over the shell of his ear. 

It's a question Eren's asked before. Though, tonight it sounds different, heavy and more threatening than promising. Levi knows, by experience of following his gut, that he should say no, just for tonight. 

Eren isn't drunk but he is buzzed on alcohol and confidence after a day of being pampered. He's gotten a lot done from Levi today and he will want to end his birthday with a bang, so to say. 

Yet, Levi nods once, stiffly, and Eren hugs him closer to his chest. 

          "Thanks. I'm going to shower." With that Eren leaves him alone in the kitchen and Levi is left second-guessing his decision. 

* * *

 

 

          L e v i   w a k e s   t o   a   h i g h   p i t c h e d   w h i n e   and it takes him a long moment to figure out what is going on because it is  _that_  unbelievable to him. 

Eren’s his arms are wrapped around him, one hand splayed across his sternum to keep Levi steady. His face is buried in the crook where shoulder meets neck and the man can feel the wetness of Eren's exhales. 

The boy is as hot as a furnace against Levi's back but that isn't quite what causes the man to grow flustered and short of breath. Rather it is Eren's leg thrown over Levi's, his foot hooked behind the man's ankle to keep his body in place, while he grinds his hips against Levi's backside. 

          ' _What the actual shit, you filthy fucking dog._ ' Levi thinks to himself but remains quiet and unmoving because of shock. Or so he tells himself. 

Eren's movements are desperate at best. He holds Levi so tight that his muscles shudder with the effort and unknowingly he keeps pressing the flat of his tongue against the man's naked shoulder, every now and then nipping at the skin to poorly muffle a shaky gasp or breathy whimper. 

In the silence and dark of the room, all that is Eren is so much more present. His voice is loud, his body hot and his movements aggressive. 

Levi, frighteningly uncaring about being used as a tool to get off, licks his lips and closes his eyes when the hand on his sternum sinks lower down his abdomen. Eren pauses the trail for a second, hesitating, and detours from Levi's pelvis to grasp onto a sharp hip bone instead. It's for the better, surely, because the man has grown hard and had Eren discovered this he would not have let Levi get away with it. 

But, as it is, the kid continues rubbing himself against Levi, the rhythm slowly becoming erratic together with his sharp breaths that quicken. 

The act is filthy, more so because one party is supposed to be asleep and thusly lacking the ability to give consent. Levi wonders what it has been that had pushed Eren over that last threshold.   
Plain teenage horniness or something else entirely? The alcohol by now should be well out of his system, though, perhaps he would use this as an excuse were Levi to confront him. Which he won't. 

And then the irony hits him of Eren being the one who has ended up assaulting the other and not the other way around such as Levi has feared from the start. 

When Eren's pants are joined by little whimpers and then tiny exclamations such as ' _please_ ', ' _Levi_ ' and ' _so good_ ', the man nearly loses his composure on his desire to touch the boy. He wants nothing more than to turn around, catch Eren's wrists and pin them above his head on the mattress and watch fear filter through the kid's wide eyes. Sexuality, to Levi, still goes hand in hand with subtle sadism and it shows in how he keeps fantasizing about scaring the boy only to watch that beautiful face distort because of it. 

He wants those green eyes to widen and his mouth to fall agape only to soothe him again and watch the child yield under his touch. To watch the child submit under his lips. To etch trust into the slate of his mind and allow them both to enjoy the game of predator chasing prey without having traumatizing memories dirty it all. 

But he does nothing. Instead curses his own tortured existence when Eren comes to a shuddering halt and wetness filters through both his and Levi's underwear. 

The boy jolts a few more times before his grip on Levi loosens and he carefully and quietly peels himself off of him after a shaky, wet exhale behind Levi's ear. 

When the boy sneaks out, likely to change his soiled underwear, Levi sinks a hand below his waist band and manages to finish himself off in time before Eren shamelessly returns and Levi shamelessly takes him into his arms; both acting as if nothing ever happened.

* * *

 

 

 

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	13. Part 12

**WARNING: breathplay, slight dom/sub**

 

**PART 12.**

 

         T h e y   b o t h   r e m e m b e r .  

If it doesn't show in Eren's permanent flustered state and Levi apparently walking on eggshells, it does in how they both avoid each other like their lives depend on it.  

Levi may have betrayed the fact he knows by showering for half an hour straight and remaining inside the bathroom for another forty minutes because exiting it had sounded like the end of the world.  

This time Eren isn't as brave as he's been before when things had gotten awkward between them. Then again, previously, the boy hadn't managed to dry hump himself to completion against the man.  

Levi feels anxious. Guilt knocks at his door, reminds him of having sexually fantasized about the boy when he'd been only twelve, forces him to recall he's assassinated the boy's parent because apparently Erwin is more important to him in some self-denying way. Self-denial being related to not wanting to admit to himself how much Eren's been meaning to him and not one bit to actually thinking his boss' opinion of him more important.  

And now another load of filth has been poured upon his conscience as he's allowed Eren to interact with him, sexually.  

Somehow, he'd never believed it'd happen like that. Wishful thinking on his part being that the boy would always remain somehow misshapen by what's been done to him in the past. Another selfish hope of Levi's; preferring the boy to be troubled for the sake of his own conscience rather than accept the possibility of the child coming out unscathed and choosing Levi as his 'next one'.  

More so than anxious, Levi experiences fear on a degree he's not experienced in a long while. Though he's never been in a similar situation to this one, the trepidation and pounding of heart still forces passed nostalgia to chime sharply in his skull.  

His fear is related to different aspects this time around. He's afraid Eren will figure out that Levi had allowed him to do what he'd done and thusly he's indirectly assaulted the child. Moreover, he's scared that Eren will invert what's occurred, adding so much more weight upon his young conscience.  

However. Most of all, Levi is frightened that this has been the first lick of prey he's been allowed to sample and with so his appetite has been woken into unstoppable awareness. Unfathomable hunger.   
Seared into his brain is the memory of Eren's heat, of his soft skin, his sharp little gasps, his hot and wet tongue. The pungent, teenage stench of arousal lingers within his nostrils.  

How is he ever supposed to discard what's taken place? How is Levi to control himself when knowing what this boy has to offer him? The golden skinned child resembles an appealing sacrifice and all Levi wants is to find out in how many ways he can consume him.   
What sounds can he draw out of him? How long can he tease him before a layer of sweat covers every inch of skin? Before his light body arches and curls to his hands, eager to be played.  

For a split-second Levi wishes he could tell someone. Someone who would understand. But that person would disgust Levi, just like he himself is doing and besides, the man could never share a thought so tainted.  

          "I hurt myself."  

Levi blinks up from his thoughts, instinct eager to react to a distressed Eren who is standing in front of him with a hand curled against his chest, the other holding it protectively.  

          "What happened?" Levi asks, self-centered worries shoved aside in order to see Eren taken care of.  

          "I closed the drawer of my dresser and my finger got stuck."  

          "Let me see." Levi says softly, reaching out a hand and being relieved at how Eren does not hesitate to place his own into it.  

Levi patiently inspects the bruised pinkie finger, the flesh red but the angle normal and movement functioning.   
While looking down at the hand in his, subconsciously playing with the boy's slender fingers, he can feel Eren watching him closely. It makes him wonder if the boy had hurt himself on purpose, to get the both of them to pick back up their previous pace in life. Yet, that'd be a ludicrous thing to do, even for the low-key nutcase.  

Never mind it having happened intentionally or not, it does work because Levi remains a sucker for Eren needing his help. 

          "Does it hurt a lot?"  

Eren shakes his head and Levi glances up through his eyelashes as his head remains bent down. 

         "Are you sure?" 

The boy nods firmly.  

         "Alright then. Be more careful, okay?" Levi suggests in a kind tone and Eren nods, eyelids fluttering when the man squeezes his palm gently before letting go.  

          "Can we watch a movie and drink hot chocolate milk tonight?"  

Levi almost smiles, because though Eren had appeared absolutely appalled for most of today, he again has found a way in which to pronounce a peace offering.  

          "Sure."  

          "With those mini Marshmallows?"  

          "Yes."  _Anything._   

 

* * *

 

  

          P o s i t i o n   o f   d o m i n a n c e   f l u c t u a t e s   accordingly. Such as in any relationship there's leaders and followers, no matter how equal parties are. However, those dynamics adapt to the situation, and to the other.  

Too often Levi feels out of control when around Eren and this isn't always related to his repressed desires but to the boy's confidence of being able to wrap the man around his finger. Levi doesn't like this feeling even though he's aware he can take matters into own hands at the snap of his fingers. He's grown fond of the boy to a degree where upsetting him is the last thing he wants to do and hence he's soft on him, forgiving and accepting.  

Besides, isn't it considered childish to actually experience problems with not being the dominant occupant in the presence of a kid? It's not like Eren will use it against him, though those puppy eyes sometimes tell a different story about how aware he actually is of his power over him.  

He's just a kid. It's not a big deal. Levi's got fourteen years on him. He should not be this paranoid and insecure of being out of control.  

So, once more, the problem lies with Levi. Completely so.  

Eren, at fifteen, is testing his boundaries and Levi's limits. He's not quite the shittiest brat around, nor is he obnoxious, but he is continuously testing the man's patience just because he can.  

And Levi, god save his damned soul, is not patient when irked.  

All of this perhaps is the reason behind why he isn't that opposed to taking a job a few cities over, a couple of weeks after Eren's birthday. The man believes that it might do the both of them some good to have breathing space and allow the chaos between them to settle down.  

Of course, Eren isn't happy about it. Such is shown in his scrunched eyebrows when they lie in bed facing one another.  

          "What if you get hurt?"  

          "I won't."  

          "You can't know that." 

           "Neither can you."  

Eren scowls at Levi's smug reply and pulls up the blanket over his nose, likely to hide a pout. 

          "I don't like this." He downright sulks and Levi clacks his tongue at him.  

          "Eren. Remember you told me you wanted to become an adult?" 

A beat follows before the child nods. 

         "Part of growing up is dealing with undesired facts. Part of growing up is letting go of things and accept that there's freedom to be exchanged for freedom. If you keep holding on, keep wanting only the good, you will end up being knocked down easily because of your lack of built-up resistance."  

          "Don't talk down on me." Eren whispers and even though the wet glistening in his eyes could very well be faked, Levi still pulls down the blanket slightly in order to cup Eren's cheek.  

          "I'm not. Do you think I'd worry about your future if I didn't respect you?"  

          "I think you treat me too much like a grown up." Eren confesses and it surprises Levi.  

          "That's what you want, isn't it?"  

          "For some things, sure, but… I mean, I know I'm not a little boy anymore but, sometimes I really want to be taken care of."  

Levi brushes his thumb over the kid's cheekbone and watches how his eyes flutter close, how he turns his head and nuzzles the man's palm. His heart skips a beat, reminded of a tad younger Eren.  

          "I thought I was." He truly did. Always has Levi believed that Eren -though in need of emotional reassurance- has wanted to be treated and perceived as an adult. Perhaps he's mistaken a person of not being capable of befitting the position as equal regardless of age. It's a peculiar thought he isn't sure whether to go by or not.  

          "You were- you are." He hurriedly corrects himself before adding in a hushed tone. "I sometimes feel like I skipped a big part of my childhood and I want things from you I guess a child would. Hugs and kisses, support and advice, guidance and white lies. Such like a-" Eren halts. His teeth clacking with the force in which he closes his mouth.  

          "Like a what?"  

Shaking his head, the boy pulls up the blanket over his nose once more, though grabs Levi's hand before he can pull away.  

          "I'm sorry for being so difficult. I just don't know what to do or think half the time. At times I want to be vulnerable and open and then other times I just want to stand on your ground, to be like you, strong and sure." Eren confesses and it sounds familiar to Levi who's in a similar position.  

Eren is hovering between boy and man. Between fragile and confident. It has to be confusing at best.  

          "Don't worry. It's normal." His thumb resumes its brushing over the boy's skin. "Tell me what you need from me."  

Somewhere in the back of his mind Levi is shaping his words intentionally to sound ambiguous, longing for Eren to figure him out and seduce him to that point of no return. But he does not want to admit this to himself. He does not want to be deemed a useless man led by his hormones and not his mind. Yet, he very fucking much is.  

Because he's gotten that first taste of a prey that's been prancing about in his company for three years, and he is damn hungry.  

          "I need you to comfort me when I'm troubled." Eren says, voice muffled behind the blanket. "And I need you to see me as someone who's capable of making up his own mind when it comes to…"  

Levi watches, mesmerized, as Eren pulls down the fabric of their covers until they're bundled up above his hips and then goes on to slide the man's hand from his jaw onto his throat. His grip loosens when Levi doesn't pull away and his hand removes itself from the man's after a few long moments. The situation is similar to that first time Eren had tried to get together with him.  

However, back then Eren had been desperate, almost forceful, uncertain. This time around he is calm and quiet, has let go to allow Levi freedom to slide his hand down or to pull it off of him. More than ever it is up to Levi.  

The man doesn't want to do this. But then he very much does. Eren won't come out of this unscathed. But what if he does? What if this is, in some maladjusted manner, exactly what Eren needs? What if Levi's hands are the only ones capable of swiping the child clean? But then what if this is because he'd only replace the old filth with his own fresh dirt?  

Which would be worse? Eren adores Levi, but once he's older and realize the man's touched him like others before, will it not have him end up even more tainted?  

Nevertheless, conscience is shaken off when Levi can feel Eren swallow under his hand. He's vulnerable, has bared his throat by tilting his head back like a lamb forced into slaughter and it turns the man on beyond rationality.  

          "You want me to be your guardian," Levi whispers to himself as he adjusts his grip on the kid's throat, repositioning his finger though not tightening his hold whatsoever. Still, Eren gasps. "so how do you expect me to touch you like that when all you've ever seen in me is a hero?"  

          "You're not." The boy says, licking his lips and then presses himself closer against Levi's hand with his next words. "You're a sinner by nature. You're a criminal for sport and a murderer for wealth. But you would never hurt me, Levi. You would never harm me and I trust you with my life."  

The man, absolutely gob smacked by this adolescent's words and the accuracy of them, can feel his heart stutter when Eren lifts a hand and presses it over his own. They both squeeze his slender throat and the child's eyes close.  

          "So, for once, accept this and trust me to know the difference between that which I want and that which I  _need_."  

A brief moment of silence is shared between them and the next step necessary in their relationship goes unspoken.  

When raising himself on his elbow, hovering over the boy, Levi notices how badly he is actually trembling at the prospect of kissing Eren.  

His breath grows strained and his ears ring whilst leaning down; planning to plant his lips upon those of the kid who's rolled onto his back automatically with eyes closed and his grip still firm upon Levi's holding his throat.  

Eren's breaths are clipped and hot.  

The loud rings of someone calling Levi's cellphone interrupts his path and before a kiss could have taken place the man jolts awake from the intoxicating arousal that'd hazed his mind.  

He gets up quickly, ignores the weakness in his legs and picks up his phone when seeing the caller's id.  

          " _Levi?_ " The deep rumble sounds a tad distorted through the line, reception in a forest, naturally, being shit.  

The man grunts as a reply, not trusting himself to speak quite yet. He glances at Eren who looks as out of it as he himself feels and the disgust in his stomach already swaps places for worrying heaviness.  

          " _I'm going to need you to start the assignment right now. have you packed?_ " Erwin commands in a tense tone.  

          "Yea." He replies before reaching out towards Eren who looks at him in careful wonder. It's obvious the boy thinks Levi is upset with him, such as happened before when they'd gotten near intimacy.  

But the man's tired of fighting. And especially now he has to leave for a couple of days, he does not want the kid to be left hurt.  

          " _Your ride leaves in half an hour at 'Base 44'._ "  

Levi waggles his fingers and feels himself stir back to stiffness when the kid shuffles closer towards the edge of the bed, movements almost resembling that of a crawl.  

          " _Be there-_ "  

          "Or be square, yeah yeah, gotcha Eyebrows." Levi interrupts, hanging up and observing the boy who's pressed the crown of his head against Levi's palm.  

His fingers curl into the messy strands and he carefully tugs Eren's head backwards before leaning over him.  

The position would be seen as intimidating and hostile to an outsider. However, to Levi, and Eren (he's sure), it portrays a reset of boundaries and status. Such as a dog being put into place only for it to end up respecting its owner and behaving accordingly.  

          "I have to go." Levi whispers, watching the moon cast a blue tone to Eren's emerald eyes.  

          "I want you to wait for me, Eren."  

Eren exhales in a shudder and his eyes close whilst teeth sink into his full bottom lip.  

          "Can you do that for me?" Levi asks and Eren nods sharply.  

The man let's go of his hair slowly, cups his face and kisses him on the forehead, lovingly.  

          "Good boy."  

* * *

 

 

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**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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